Stranger
by Charming-Prue
Summary: Sequel to The look in her eyes. Richard comes back to Aydindrill after two years.
1. Chapter 1

Here is the sequel from "The look in her eyes." ! I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it, and if you do, please leave a review. It always gives a lot of inspiration to know that someone is actually reading what you write.

I don't own any thing, don't make money writing, I just do it for the Midlands' sake.

Also, no beta and english is not my language so please be nice!

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It was a boring day, just like any other day for the past two years. Kahlan Amnell, Mother Confessor of the Midlands was sitting on her chair in the grievances room, her legs and arms crossed, listening to her people accusing each other of crimes or begging for money or power, most of the times both. She wondered how one day she came to like helping people when she now couldn't listen to them anymore. The ones guilty of crimes were always begging for her mercy, thinking she would infringe to the Code of Aydindrill. The law was the law and it had to be followed.

"No." She simply and sternly replied to an insignificant request.

"Thank you Mother Confessor." The dirty man replied before almost running to the door of the large room. Even if his request was dismissed, he knew better than to insist and get on the nerves of a Confessor, specially this one. They hated her and she scared them, but she didn't even seem to care. She came to terms with the monster she was long ago.

"Next." She said with a sigh. Time for the grievances was almost done and she couldn't wait to leave the room, of course she would have to go back in the afternoon but it was her duty as the Mother Confessor, she couldn't escape from it and she knew it but she was just eager to see her baby girl. It was time for her lunch and Kahlan never missed an opportunity to spend time with her daughter. The grievances sessions she held inside the Palace were more and more crowded every day. Three months ago, the Seeker had saved the world from the Keeper, the green cracks on the grounds were gone and the lasts Banelings had been killed. People started to live normally again, killing, stealing, cheating, arguing…

"According to the code of Aydindrill, you are guilty." She told a mid-aged man, he was a salesman or something like that from what she barely heard him say.

"Mother Confessor, please hear me out. Ever since I started to work tragedies happened, first Darken Rahl and then the Keeper himself messed with our lives. Now that the new Lord Rahl saved us all, we have a future again, I just needed some money to get back on my feet." He argued.

The new Lord Rahl, she didn't even know how this was possible. Richard Cypher was in fact Richard Rahl, Darken Rahl's brother. She felt like living the life of another, sometimes she even wondered if a sorcerer hadn't casted a spell on her, sending her in another life, at another time. But every time she looked at her daughter, she knew this was real life… her life.

It's been two years since she had last seen him. Two years since he had left to go on with his quest and defeat the Keeper. During this time she had heard many things about him, that he was dead, badly injured, that he had failed his mission and decided to go back to Hartland, that he was married, that he was now Lord Rahl, that he had rebuilt D'Hara's army to conquer the Midlands… She prayed none were true. Deep in her heart she knew none were true but worry always crept upon her. The only real thing was his new title of Lord Rahl. She knew it was true because a Mord'Sith came to the Palace to look for him claiming he was the new Lord Rahl.

One day, the cracks on the grounds disappeared and she knew he had succeeded his quest. It's been three months and she didn't know where he was. He should have been back already… maybe he was dead after all. Maybe he had to sacrifice himself in order to save the world of the living. Zedd always said that with great power came great responsibilities, maybe the price of saving thousands of lives was giving his in return and she knew for sure that he would be willing to pay the price. She tried to forgetting him many times or at least not to think about him but every time she looked into her daughter's eyes she thought about him and she wondered if her baby would ever get to know her father. But after three months, her hopes were slim to none.

Coming back to reality, she realized that the salesman was still in front of her, waiting for her to say something.

"The law is the law and my word is final." She stated. "Next." She added coldly.

She looked at the door on her left, hoping it would open and that Sylvia would enter the room with her daughter, indicating that the time for grievances was over. She sighed again at the closed-door and adjusted her position on her big wooden chair. A blond woman made a few steps towards her and said: "Mother Confessor, my husband is missing."

"There is nothing I can do for you. Wait until he returns, if he does one day. Next." She cruelly said to the now crying woman. With time she will get over it, over him. She will get tougher and eventually her pain will disappear. She will go on with her life because she has no other choice and because people expect her to do so. So she will grit her teeth and her clench her fists and she will get up every day, making people think that she is okay.

"Thank you Mother Confessor." The woman told her between sobs. Just like the people before her, she knew better than to argue with the Mother Confessor.

Kahlan turned to the guard on her right and gestured him to get closer to her.

"Command me Mistress." He told her.

"Find Sylvia and make sure everything is alright with my daughter." She ordered.

"As you command Mother Confessor." The guard replied before leaving quickly. She watched him leave by the door on her left.

"Mother Confessor." She heard as another sigh escaped her lips. It wasn't even the middle of the day and she couldn't wait for it to end. She just hoped that the person who just spoke would be the last and that Sylvia would arrive soon.

She turned her head to look in front of her and she saw three persons. It took her some time to realize that Zedd, Cara and Richard were here, in Aydindrill in the Confessor Palace, a few steps away from her. She couldn't believe it. She blinked several times before she understood that it was Richard, her Richard who was bowing on one knee in front of her. Paralyzed, she felt her heart constrict and held her breath. Millions of questions fused in her head. Why was he here? What did he want? Since when was he in the room? Did he still love her? Was he here to take his daughter? To start a war? Was he alright? Did he want to hold her as much as she wanted to hold him? Did he miss her? Was he here to take over the Midlands with his D'Haran army?

"Kahlan, dear, are you alright?" She heard Zedd asking.

She stood up abruptly and said: "Rise Seeker."

Richard stood on his feet and looked at her. He hadn't changed, yet he was not the same. His hair was a little bit longer, he did not look older but more mature, wiser.

"Or should I call you Lord Rahl?" She asked bitterly.

Their gazes locked for a moment and she finally spoke: "Congratulations on defeating the Keeper."

He nodded as a thank you but never stopped looking at her.

"What can I do for you?" She asked. She wondered why he wasn't speaking to her. She saw his expression change before he spoke, he looked angry, his jaw was clenched.

"We came here to ask for your hospitality, Mother Confessor." He stated.

"Clara." She called.

"Command me Mother Confessor." A young maid standing in the room said.

"Show Lord Rahl and his friends our guest's rooms." She ordered.

"Of course Mother Confessor." She replied before bowing.

"Actually…" Richard interrupted. "I was hoping I could talk to you. Alone." He added looking straight in Kahlan's eyes. The last thing she wanted was to be alone with him but she wanted to know what he had to say. He was the Lord Rahl now and the Midlands needed to know if he was a treat or not.

She nodded to him and walked to the door on her left and Richard followed her while Zedd and Cara followed the maid.

Suddenly the door opened to reveal Sylvia and Kahlan's daughter. The little girls walked to her mother who picked her up in her arms.

"Hi baby girl." Kahlan said, kissing her daughter's head.

"Lord Rahl." Sylvia said before bowing in front of Richard who didn't even looked at her, his eyes were fixed on Kahlan and her daughter.

"Sylvia, I won't be able to make it for lunch." She said.

"You go with Sylvia and be a good girl alright?" She told her daughter who nodded in return.

"Good." She said before kissing her daughter on the head once again. She handed the girl to Sylvia who left the room, leaving Richard and Kahlan alone.

"It's a beautiful daughter you have here Mother Confessor." Richard stated.

"What do you want?" She asked abruptly.

"Is she mine?" He asked back.

She slapped him. Hard. "It's good to know that you have so little faith in me Lord Rahl." She told him, swallowing back her tears.

"Looks like you haven't exactly been faithful yourself, Mother Confessor." He replied pointing at her belly. She looked down, she had totally forgotten about the bump on her stomach.

She took a breath, trying to find the strength to look at him again and she said: "That morning when you left, I woke because I've felt the spark of life inside me. I was so happy. I wanted to tell you but when I opened my eyes the only thing I found was your letter. So yes, Richard, she is your daughter."

"She's beautiful." He said tears pooling in his eyes.

"It's been two years. Why are you here?" She asked. She kept her Confessor mask on her face, in two years she had had time to master her skill. Even though she wanted to cry as well, she remained still. It was everything she'd ever dreamt about, her and Richard having a daughter, but now everything was so messed up it was more like living a nightmare than a dream.

"I promised that I would come back once my quest was complete so here I am. Besides, I wanted to know if your daughter was mine or your mate's. And as the new Lord Rahl I thought the Mother Confessor would be interested in knowing what I plan to do with D'Hara." He explained.

"You always had such a great sense of duty." She told him bitterly.

"I learnt from the best, Mother Confessor." He replied, looking at her belly once again.

She wanted to hit him again because she was furious against him. Furious because he had left her alone for two years, because she had to raise her daughter alone. She had lied to people about the father of her child, pretending that her daughter was Tim's daughter in order to follow the plan she and Richard had come up with two years ago. But mostly she was furious against herself because of her condition and everything she had done in the past two years.

"I'll arrange a meeting with the Council for this afternoon. You'll be able to explain us your great plans Lord Rahl." She told him.

"Now, if you'll excuse me…" She said, turning to leave but he stopped her by grabbing her arm.

"Do not touch me." She ordered, freeing her arm and grabbing his throat. It felt weird having someone touching her beside her daughter. She felt her powers surging from deep inside her and released her hold on him quickly.

"Leave." She ordered him as her anger was taking the best of her.

"Leave!" She repeated seeing that he was still looking at her.

She turned her back to him as she felt her powers slipping away from her grasp.

"I'll see you this afternoon." He told her before leaving the room.

Closing the door behind him, he heard the thunder with no sound of her powers. And her screams.


	2. Chapter 2

New chapter is up. I'm not a fast writer so I apologize for the time between my updates. I hope that the wait will be worth it! Thank you so much for your reviews, please keep them coming!

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She had change. That's the first thing Richard noticed when he saw her again after two years. First of all, her looks were different, she was so thin that her face had become hollow and she had dark circles under her eyes. But no matter what, she was still beautiful. Her looks wasn't the only thing he noticed. She was bitter and stern, barely acknowledging people in front of her. When he was in the grievances room, he watched her for at least half an hour and she never noticed him, or Zedd and Cara with her red leather. She didn't care about what people had to say to her, he had never seen her like this. And finally, when he stood in front of her, she used the same cold tone she used with everyone. It broke his heart. It wasn't how he imagined their reunion. He wanted to sweep her off her feet and kiss her but she wasn't the same and he feared her reaction. It's been two year, too long and she had a daughter now. Her life had changed and he didn't know if she still shared his feelings.

"Your room is ready Lord Rahl." A maid told him as she walked towards him in a corridor of the Confessor Palace. Ever since she ordered him to leave and that he heard her powers being released, he stood in the hallway just thinking about what happened.

He had been gone on his quest for six month when he had learnt that she was with child. Information travels slow in the Midlands. As she followed their plan to prevent the war against Tractan and the Midlands, everyone thought that her child was her mate's. She wasn't with child when he left her. He wanted to believe that this child was his, that something good for them could come out of all this. But when she got up from her chair in the grievance room and he saw that she was with child again, it broke his heart. She had lain with another man. It was like she had stabbed his heart with one of her dagger and cut his throat with the other. But could he really blame her? He was the one who left for his duty and she had hers. She went on with her life and her duty as the Mother Confessor. So maybe her first child wasn't his after all. Maybe the Spirits didn't grant them the possibility to create life together. But when she finally told him that the child was his, he was relieved, but she was with child again and this one couldn't be his.

"Get Sylvia and the healer, quick!" He heard a guard scream in the hallway. Something was happening in the room. He tried to approach the door but two guards were blocking his way. So lost in his thoughts he didn't even know when they arrived.

"Let me in." He hissed.

"We can't Lord Rahl, this is a restricted area for now." The guard told him.

"I said, let me in!" He repeated with anger.

"Lord Rahl!" Sylvia's voice interrupted him as he was about to reach for the Sword of Truth.

Turning to his left he saw her with his daughter in her arms.

"What's going on?" He asked her.

"You should talk to Kahlan." She replied before adding: "Now please, just stay away from the door and let me get inside."

"No, I'm coming in with you." He told her.

"Richard, do you trust me?" She asked.

He nodded, taken aback by her question and she told him: "Then just stay away and talk to Kahlan later."

"Alright." He replied, running a hand through his hair. He knew he could trust Sylvia and if she said that he could talk to Kahlan later, it meant that her life wasn't in danger. He watched Sylvia disappear behind the door and took at last look at his daughter. She was beautiful. She had blue eyes and dark hair just like her mother. He quickly calculated that she was about fifteen months old. She could walk and understand what Kahlan told her. But he didn't even know her name. He hung his head in shame, at the verge of tears. He had a daughter and he didn't even know her name. He felt a wave of emotions overwhelming him, he wanted to hold his daughter and learn everything about her, talk to her, read her stories. He wanted to be her father. If only things weren't so complicated. Millions of questions fused in his head. Did she still have feelings for him? Will she allow him to see his daughter? Will she let him stay in Aydindrill? Did she miss him? Will he be able to forget the fact that she was with another man? What will their lives be if she didn't want to be with him? And with everything that happened, did he want to be with her? Will she ever forget him for leaving? Did she hate him because he was a Rahl?

Lord Rahl, how he hated being called like that. It reminded him of Darken Rahl, that they shared the same blood. He was now the leader of the D'Haran Empire, big army and dozens of Mord'Sith. He wanted to do good and erase the twisted actions of his brother.

Many people walked past him and entered the room, most of them from the Council. He waited silently, his eyes threatened to close from time to time because he was exhausted. His quest has been long and difficult and he barely took time to rest. Many times, Zedd told him to slow down, to sleep more, to fight less, to be careful but he just wanted to fight and get over this quickly. He missed fighting, at first he didn't like it but in the end it allowed him to channel his anger and his sadness. He remembered the fight when he learnt that Kahlan had given birth, he fought against dozens of Banelings and when it was over, he wanted more. He almost killed Cara that day. He was so angry and lost in his fury that when she approached her at the end of the battle, he almost ran her through with his sword.

"Lord Rahl." Sylvia called him when she reached him.

He looked up at her and she said: "The Council and the Mother Confessor are ready to see you now if you'd like to, it will allow the Mother Confessor to get the afternoon off."

He nodded and they both entered the room. Kahlan and the members of the Council were sitting at a big wooden table. He scanned the room, looking for his daughter. She wasn't in the room anymore. His eyes settled on Kahlan who looked even more tired than before, if that were possible. She was avoiding his look. He stood tall in front of them.

The head of the Council, the same old man Richard saw the last time he met him, got up and said: "Lord Rahl, it's an honor to have you here."

He simply nodded in answer, his gaze was fixed on Kahlan.

The head of the Council cleared his throat and said: "The Mother Confessor informed us that you have… plans…"

Richard turned his head and said: "I want The Midlands and D'Hara to be at peace, work together as one territory. I'm not the man my brother was, you know who I am and I think we could all gain by joining forces."

"Very well, we are very glad to hear that Lord Rahl." The old man said.

"Although… I have two conditions that I would like to discuss with the Mother Confessor… In private." Richard said.

Finally, he had caught her attention. The members of the Council all left and they were face to face again.

"I'm listening." Kahlan said coldly.

"First, I would like to spend time with your daughter. Get to know her." He said.

She nodded her head in answer. He could see her clenching her jaw and furrowing her brow. He had never seen her so tense, she was breathing heavily. The thought creped in his mind that he was the one causing her so much distress and he hate himself for it.

Swallowing hard, he tried to focus on what he had to say to her: "Then, I would like to offer the best cares to Zedd."

Her features changed into a questioning look and Richard explained: "It was one week before I defeated the Keeper, some Sisters of the Dark poisoned me. Zedd used his magic to heal me and he absorbed the poison within him. Ever since, we've been looking for a cure, but it was in vain. For now his magic helps him to fight but it's not going to last forever. Our only hope now is to find something here, in the Palace or in the Wizard's Keep."

"So, if you want the Midlands to be at peace with D'Hara, I want you to allow me spend time with your daughter and to let me go through every book to find Zedd a cure, and let your healers help him." He said sternly.

So that was it… The reason he came back. To heal Zedd and eventually spend time with his daughter. Kahlan knew that it was probably better that way, that he didn't come back for her. After all, she didn't deserve him, she was a monster.

"Zedd is dying?" She asked, to be sure she got everything right.

Richard nodded and she added with a shrug: "Never thought the old man would make it through your quest anyway."

Richard received her words as a fist in the stomach. Tears filled his eyes and he said: "Damn it Kahlan, it's Zedd! My gran-father, your daughter's great gran-father, Wizard of the first order, the man who saved both of our lives more times than we can count."

He couldn't understand why she was so heartless, it was Zedd. She used to love him, treat him as her own gran-father and now she didn't even bother.

She got up and Richard's eyes immediately fell on the bump of her stomach. It seemed that she hadn't been with child for so long, just enough for people to notice.

"You can stay and do whatever you want to help him. Your two conditions are accepted Lord Rahl." She told him.

"What happened to you Kahlan?" He asked, trying his best not to let tears fall on his face.

"You did." She replied before walking to the door, turning her back to him.

His breath got stuck in his throat. She blamed him… of course she blamed him. He was the one who left, condemning her to give birth and raise her daughter alone, to take a mate. But he couldn't blame her in return. It was his entire fault, his choices changed things between them and he had to suffer the consequences.

"Your daughter, what's her name?" He asked, stopping her in her tracks.

"Cassandra Tarralyn Amnell." She said, without looking back at him.

"I'll see you tonight at the banquet. The Council will want to celebrate the fact that the Lord Rahl is not going to end us all." She quickly added before leaving the room.

The sound of the door startled him. He sat on a chair and took his head in his hands. He needed to clear his mind, to be able to think straight but he couldn't. Zedd was dying, Kahlan hated him and she was with child. The Kahlan he knew wouldn't have been able to lay with someone else so it meant only one thing: she wasn't in love with him anymore. He took a deep breath. First he had to find a way to save Zedd and then spend some time with Cassandra. He would have to deal with the fact that Kahlan hated him and find a way to live under the same roof and be with their daughter. If he couldn't manage to make it work, then he will leave for the People Palace.

But could he really stay in Aydindrill anyway? Seeing her everyday knowing that she had taken another to her bed. Seeing her raising another's child. Of course he wanted to be a father to his daughter but could he endure it all? The pain, the anguish of what he did to her? Maybe it would be better to leave them now. What a fool he had been thinking that coming back to Aydindrill was the best thing to do. He thought that he was coming back to his family but he was coming back to nothing except pain and sadness. She probably didn't want him back anyway. Sighing again, he got up. He was decided to try to make it work and if he couldn't, then he would leave.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm not very proud of this chapter and I must apologize.

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"The Seeker is to attend to the reception." The Mother Confessor stated.

"I know Mother Confessor, but he is in the library and said that he doesn't have time to attend to reception." Sylvia replied with a sigh.

"I'll drag him to the dining room if I have to." Kahlan said firmly as she left the room to go find him.

Richard slowly and calmly looked up from his book when the library door burst open revealing Kahlan. Once again his heart ached when his eyes meet her stomach and he imagined her mate's child growing within her.

"Everyone is waiting for you Lord Rahl, I suggest you get to that reception." She told him.

"I don't have time, I need to find a cure for Zedd." He replied before going back to his books.

"I thought you wanted to see your daughter." She told him.

He got up slowly and said: "Are you really implying that I have to choose between meeting my daughter and healing my grand-father?"

When she did not reply, he rubbed his face with his hands and sighed before saying: "He's dying Kahlan, because of me. He saved my life and now he's dying."

"They are waiting for you." She simply said before turning to the door.

"Kahlan, wait…" He said in vain, she was already gone. Sighing again, he decided that he would go to the reception to meet his daughter and spend the night in the library looking for a cure to heal Zedd. When he walked out the door, he noticed Kahlan at the end of the hallway, entering the room where Zedd was resting, well-guarded by Cara.

"Well, if it isn't the Mother Confessor herself." The Mord'Sith snorted.

Choosing to ignore her, Kahlan looked at Zedd, lying emotionlessly on the bed.

"He's not dead yet, just sleeping." Cara commented.

"Wake him." She ordered the Mord'Sith.

"Do you even care?" Cara asked, getting up from her chair. "I always thought you would make a damn fine Mord'Sith and looks like you succeeded without a proper training." She added with a smile.

"Maybe you're the one getting softer." Kahlan replied.

"I may be getting softer but you are for sure being a heartless bitch to Richard since he came back." Cara told her.

"Tell me Cara, have you come to care for your Lord Rahl?" Kahlan asked.

"Looks like I care more about him than you do." Cara replied with a nod implying Kahlan's pregnancy.

"Wake him or I will." She ordered again, ignoring Cara's last comment.

"If you touch him, you will feel my agiels." The blonde said.

Kahlan immediately grabbed her by the throat and pushed her against the wall. "Don't you dare threaten me." The Mother Confessor warned.

"Or what, you will confess me?" Cara asked, looking straight into her eyes. "Come on. Do it." She defiantly added.

When Kahlan released her hold on Cara, the Mord'Sith noticed something different in her features and she told her: "Now, is the bitch gone? Am I talking to Kahlan?"

Once again Kahlan ignored her and focused her attention on Zedd.

Cara knew that she had to knock some senses into Kahlan. She knew she still cared but she also knew that she was hurting and her rough and careless attitude was just a protection. Cara knew it and understood it more than anyone.

"You don't know what it was like for him, having to leave you." She said, trying to reach out to the Kahlan who cared. As the Mother Confessor stood silent, she continued: "He knows he's lost you and now he has to loose Zedd too."

She sat back on her chair next to Zedd and she said: "You know he almost killed me. When he couldn't deal with his pain anymore, his only way of feeling better was to fight and let his anger take the best of him. Blinded by his anger, he almost ran me through with his sword, I had to break one of his ribs to stop him and calm him down. It happened the day he learnt you've given birth."

"Why are you telling me this?" Kahlan asked.

"Because I know that you are mad at him for leaving you but you have to know that it's been hard on him too." She told her before adding: "And I know that your emotionless face and your bitchiness are here to protect you because you are hurt, and I understand that."

"You've really grown softer Cara." Kahlan told her.

"My duty is to protect the Lord Rahl but he taught me how to care and he made me a better person, you made me a better person too Kahlan." She explained.

"That was in another life." Kahlan said in a whisper.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. When the door opened, a maid said: "Mother Confessor, they are waiting for you in the dining room."

Giving one last look at Cara, she left the room. The sooner she was at the reception, the sooner she will be able to leave it.

When she stepped into the dining room, she went straight to her chair, while everyone stood up around her, acknowledging her presence. Before sitting down, she smiled at her daughter who was on Tim's lap. She took her in her arms and gave her a kiss on the top of the head. She spotted Richard in the corner of her eyes as everyone sat back on their chair. She tried her best not to look at him as she focused her attention on her daughter. She could feel his gaze on her, he was probably looking at Cassie. She reminded herself that she couldn't waste her energy thinking about him, what he was doing, what were his thoughts. She had to keep her head straight and act as usual in order to prevent her emotions to take the best of her. It was harder for her to keep her Confessor mask on her face when he was around.

The sound of someone clearing his throat caught her attention and she looked up to find the Head of the Council demanding everyone's attention.

"It's a lovely time to be gathered here, especially when we have great news to share. Tonight we celebrate the union of the Midlands and D'Hara, may our people live in peace for a long time." The old man said. His speech was followed by people clapping their hands.

The Head of the Council raised a hand to quiet the people in the room and he continued: "But tonight we also celebrate the upcoming birth of a new Confessor. The Mother Confessor is with child and it's a joy for us all to know that justice will continue to rule the Midlands as well as D'Hara. Enjoy this evening."

There was some more clapping and everyone went to their meal, talking and enjoying the evening. Richard was just staring at his plate, lost in his thoughts. He looked at Kahlan from time to time, holding her daughter and talking with Tim or someone else. They looked like a family, the three, almost four of them. Maybe she had fallen in love with him after all. She met him when they were young and maybe she needed comfort that he willingly provided to her. Even when he wasn't confessed, he wanted to be with her. Seeing her like this, it was too much to bear for him. He slowly got up, trying to be as discrete as possible so no one would notice him leaving. He made a few steps in the hallway and pressed his back against the wall. He tried to breathe deeply and calm himself. He had no right to be mad at her but his anger was taking the best of him. He closed his eyes trying to gather his thoughts and his composure. Keeping his eyes closed, he listened to the laughter coming from the dining room, it seemed that people were having a great time. He heard the door open and close a few times and people passing in front of him but he stood still, his eyes closed. The door opened one more time and he heard a baby crying.

"Shhh. It's okay baby." He heard Kahlan say in a soft voice. His heart almost stopped beating when he heard her. Her words were kind and full of love. It was the same tone she used to talk to him before he left. He missed it every second of the day.

As she passed by him, he dared to ask: "Is she okay?"

His voice startled her and she turned to him.

"She doesn't like the noise." She told him, kissing Cassie on the head once again who was starting to calm down. His gaze locked on his daughter, wanting to memorize everything about her.

Kahlan set Cassie on the floor and said: "Go say hi to Richard."

He deserved to get to know his daughter just as much as she deserved to know her father. No matter what was going on between them, Kahlan knew that she couldn't keep them apart.

Richard looked at her surprisingly and knelt on the floor. The little girl looked at him for a moment and he stood still, not really knowing what to do or what to say. Then, Cassie slowly walked to him. She immediately reached to his tooth pendant and pulled it. Richard couldn't help but smile as tears gathered in his eyes. She was beautiful. She was perfect. Just like her mother.

"Wy?" The little girl asked him as she looked up at him, noticing his tears.

"Mama Wy." She added as she dried her father's tears with her tiny fingers. Richard closed his eyes trying to prevent more tears from falling. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes finding her looking at his sword, tracing the word 'Truth' with her fingers. Richard wanted to hug her but he didn't want to scare her so he just looked at her. He was so proud to be a father and it was also new to him. He felt like he was dreaming and could wake up at any moment.

"I have a daughter." He whispered, trying to make everything seem more real. "She's so beautiful." He added.

"There you are!" Tim exclaimed as he approached them.

"Hiiimmm" The little girl squealed, running in Kahlan's mate arms. It broke Richard's heart, seeing his daughter running to this man like he was her father, calling him by his name. He got up and made a step backwards, overwhelmed by his heartbreak and his back hit the wall. He couldn't stand it, seeing them as a family, a family that was supposed to be his.

"I…" He started before clearing his throat. "I… I have to go, I have to find a way to cure Zedd."

He tried his best to hide his tears but it was useless, he took one last look at his daughter before looking at Kahlan who was standing emotionlessly looking at him. She did not care anymore. She finally moved to take Cassie in her arms. Richard exchanged one more look with her as tears rolled down his face and he left.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi there! Here's the new chapter! Sorry it took me so long to update but you know how life can be crazy!

So, I hope you haven't forgotten where we left off and that you'll enjoy the new chapter, if you do so, please leave a review! Thank you!

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Kahlan closed her book and let out a long sigh. The sun was finally up. Her daughter would soon wake and another day would start. Sitting on her bed, her back resting the headboard, she rubbed her eyes. She was exhausted but couldn't sleep. It's been like this for two years now. At first she tried to sleep but found herself being restless so she started to work and read. It was a good thing that being Mother Confessor came with all this amount of work. Then, when she gave birth, Cassie was the one keeping her up but she didn't mind. She loved spending time with her daughter but after only one month, the little girl was sleeping through the nights so Kahlan went back to her books. She dozed off from time to time, resting just enough to get some strength back to go through the day but she had long forgotten was a good night of sleep was like. Her little time of sleep was full of nightmares so she decided to keep herself busy when the sun was down.

She opened her book again in another attempt to read but it was hopeless, her thoughts immediately went to Richard. In two years she had managed to think less about him, at least during the day. His face in her mind almost became blurry but now that he was back in Aydindrill, everything had changed. She kept seeing his face, the look in his eyes when they met her belly was the same than when he watched Cassie running in Tim's arms.

She closed her book again and tossed it on the bed next to her and she finally got up and made her way to the window. Watching the city slowly waking up was calming her. She closed her eyes trying to push Richard out of her thoughts. He was making her emotions uncontrollable and she hated it. She could feel the cracks in her Confessor mask and she wanted to yell at him for making her feel so powerless against the waves of emotions overwhelming her. Ever since she met him in the woods of Hartland he had been her weakness.

"Mama!" She heard her daughter called, making a small smile appear on Kahlan's face. She walked to the adjacent room to find Cassie standing up in her bed, waiting to be picked up.

"Hi there." Kahlan greeted her daughter with a kiss on the cheek before picking her up and walking to her own bed. She sat just like she did before, with her back against the headboard, holding her daughter in her arms.

"We have a big day today." She told her. "First we are going to have breakfast and get ready and then we are going to the city to explain to the people of Aydindrill that the Midlands are now united to D'Hara."

A knock at the door interrupted her and Sylvia entered the room.

"Good morning Mother Confessor." The maid said, bowing in front of Kahlan.

"Good morning." She replied.

"How's the little Cassie this morning?" Sylvia asked.

"Looks like she could use some more sleep." Kahlan replied.

"You could use some more sleep too." Sylvia replied with a sad smile.

"We've talk about it already." Kahlan replied.

"I know but some tea will help you relax." The maid insisted.

"But the tea won't make the nightmares go away." Kahlan told her, hugging her daughter tightly.

Sylvia sat on the edge of the bed and said: "But he's here now… Maybe he could…"

"He feels like I betrayed him." Kahlan cut her. "He must already feel like I'm a monster and he doesn't know everything I did while he was gone."

She took a deep breath, trying to prevent her tears from falling and she added: "If you could see the look in his eyes when he looks at me… When Cassie ran to Tim when she saw him."

She slightly shook her head and continued: "I already hurt him too much."

"What are you going to do?" Sylvia asked.

"Nothing… Keep my Confessor mask as much as I can." She said as tears finally broke free.

"Mama Wy" Cassie said as she reached to touch her mother's face.

"It's okay baby." Kahlan reassured her, quickly drying her tears.

"Where is he now?" Kahlan asked Sylvia.

"In the library, he spent the night there, looking for a cure for his grandfather." The maid replied.

"Does he know about the meeting with the people in town?" She asked.

"No, not yet. I figured that if you're not the one to tell him, he won't get out of the library." Sylvia replied.

"He'll listen to you." Kahlan told her.

"No, Kahlan you have to go. Go see him, let him see Cassie. I'm sure you'll find your way back together." The maid said before getting up and leaving the room before Kahlan could argue.

"I'll send someone to let you know when your breakfast will be ready." She added and closed the door.

Sylvia was right, she had to go see him and talk to him. If he was going to stay in the Palace with her, she had to learn to be near him without being angry or being devastated. And her daughter had the right to know her father, just like he had the right know his daughter.

Gathering all her strengths, she finally got up and walk to the library to find him. Cassie was in her arms, resting her head against her shoulder and playing with her mother's hair.

When she push the door of the library open and saw him, he took her breath away. Even with his handsome features mostly hidden behind piles of books, he still made her heart race.

Hearing the noise of the door, he looked up at her. Their eyes locked for a moment before he looked at Cassie and finally at Kahlan's growing belly. She saw the emotions in his eyes, pain and anger, then without a word, he went back to the book he was reading before she interrupted him. The knot formed in her stomach before she opened the door tighten even more and she considered running away for a second.

"There… there is a meeting this morning with the people of Aydindrill. To celebrate the union of D'Hara and The Midlands. The Mother Confessor and Lord Rahl are to salute the crowd." She explained trying to sound emotionless.

"Will it take long? Because I still have a lot of word to do." He replied, not bothering to look up at her.

"No, I don't think so." She simply told him.

There was a long silence and she broke it by asking: "Do you want to hold her?"

Richard finally looked up to his daughter with a sad smile and replied: "No."

She was shocked by his answer, her knees almost gave away. The pain she felt was quickly replaced by anger. She didn't understand why he was acting like this.

"Why not?" She asked him sharply.

"Because I'm leaving. Once Zedd will be healed or dead if I fail, I'll leave for D'Hara." He explained calmly.

"I thought you wanted to get to know your daughter." She said as she put Cassie down who was wriggling in her arms and wanted to play on the floor.

"I do. But I'm the Lord Rahl now and I have urgent matters to attend to." He said vaguely.

She laughed bitterly and said: "I see leaving is still your favorite thing to do."

He angrily rose from his chair and said: "What do you think Kahlan? That I can stay here?"

He walked to her and added: "Do you think that I can stay here and watch you live with him the life I wanted for us?"

She looked down as her breathing became ragged.

"Look at me!" He almost shouted making her jump.

"Do you think I can stay here and watch you be with him, giving birth to his children?! Watch my own daughter treats him like her father?!" He said trying not to yell at her but almost failing.

When Cassie ran to her mother, he realized that he had scared her and tried to calm himself. Kahlan picked up the little girl, whispering to calm her. "She bonded with him. I missed nearly two years of her life and she thinks he's her father. I get it. I want what is best for her and I don't want to mess with her head. I know what it's like to have an adoptive father, I loved the Cyphers and knowing the truth would have been too hard for me to handle when I was a kid." He explained using a calmer tone.

He ran a hand through his hair and said: "I can't stay here Kahlan. I'm a stranger to her, I'm a stranger to you…"

"I might end up beheading Tim for taking what's mine." He said with a laugh, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

After a short silence he said: "I want what is best for you… and for Cassie. Just like the Cyphers were what was best for me."

He gave her a sad smile as tears filled his eyes and added: "I'll come visit if you want to."

"Mother Confessor." They heard as a young maid entered the library and bowed in front of them.

"Breakfast has been served." She said.

Kahlan nodded in answer and the young girl added: "Is there something else I can do to please you?"

"No, that will be all." She replied.

Watching the maid leave, Richard looked at Kahlan. "Did you confess her?" He asked.

Kahlan looked down and said: "I don't want to talk about it, I have to go."

"Is it the ConDar?" He asked.

As she stood speechless in front of him he continued: "When I came back, you got angry and I heard you releasing your powers."

Finally composing herself, she looked up at him and said: "You don't have to tell me what happened. I know what I did and I know the monster I am. I blame myself for it every day."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for Cassie to have her breakfast." She told him before turning to the door.

"Kahlan wait!" He exclaimed to stop her.

She froze in her tracks but did not turn. She couldn't face him because she was ashamed and because looking in his eyes was breaking her heart.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you and scared Cassie." He apologized.

She nodded and as she was about to walked out of the library, he quickly asked: "Do you remember that morning after we've been together for the first time?"

He made a step towards her but she didn't turn to face him.

"You told me that you were scared of two things, having to take a mate and having to raise our child alone." He continued.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through those two things because of me." He added, fighting the urge to close the distance between them and to wrap his arms around her.

He watched the rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed, desperately hoping that she would turn and tell him that she could forgive him.

"I'll see you for the meeting in the city." She told him without looking at him and she left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

Here we go. I realized last chapter was a bit of a let down and I hope this one will be better. Let me know what you think, if this is worth going on.

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After walking down the numerous white stairs outside the Confessor Palace, The Mother Confessor and her mate, Lord Rahl and his Mord'Sith made their ways to the main street of Aydindrill. The walk was silent, the city was silent. People had gathered in the streets to see them but none dared to make a sound. Their heads were bowed in fear, mother's holding their children tightly in their arms.

Kahlan and Richard had to walk to a square where a platform had been constructed, allowing them to talk to the people of Aydindrill. Kahlan couldn't wait to get there and get this thing over with. Everything she wanted was to be with her daughter who was in the Palace, although the little girl was in good hands, she didn't really like to leave her alone. In the corner of her eye, she could see Richard, walking to her right, while Tim and Cara followed them. She did her best to walk with her head up high but everything she wanted to do was run to her room and hide. Seeing her people so scared of her, it was breaking her heart. Sometimes she would even see flashes of hatred in their eyes. Ever since she was a little girl, people had been afraid of her but this, now… it was different. She was a monster, unable to control her own power. She knew she had been cold and heartless when people came to her, but she couldn't let herself care again. Her heart had been broken in millions of pieces and couldn't be healed.

"What's going on here?" Richard whispered, taking her out of her thoughts.

"Isn't it obvious? They hate me." She replied coldly.

"Why?" He asked with his ever endless need to know everything.

"You know why… I've certainly confessed someone they know or said no to one of their requests." She told him, trying to sound as distant as possible.

"Heartless witch!" A male voice shouted in the crowd. People gasped and froze waiting for the Mother Confessor to punish one of them.

"Evil wrench!" Another voice shouted.

"She's confessed the Seeker!" The voice of a woman shouted.

Before they had time to realize what was happening, the whole crowd was yelling at Kahlan, calling her the worst names possible.

Instinctively, Richard closed the distance between him and Kahlan, gripping his sword in case one of the people around them tried to hurt the Mother Confessor. Behind them, Tim and Cara imitated him, grasping their own weapons. Richard's eyes were scanning the crowd, for the moment, they were just yelling, none dare to move towards the Mother Confessor knowing the power of her touch. The silence of mere minutes ago was replaced by the sound of an angry crowd.

Something moved quickly on Richard's left and he heard Kahlan scream.

Quickly turning to her, he saw the arrow struck in her stomach. He immediately wrapped his arms around her as her knees gave up. Shielding her with his body, he felt an arrow hitting him on his right side as he carefully laid her down on the floor. The red stain on her white Confessor dress made it obvious that she had already lost a lot of blood.

"Cara!" He yelled as he looked up to find his friend and protector. The Mord'Sith pulled the Sword of Truth out of Richard's scabbard and threw it in the air in the direction of the roof of a house. The sword hit the man holding a bow and arrows in the chest, killing him instantly as Cara ran to get the sword back and secure the area. Tim was also protecting them, sword in hand.

Once Richard was sure they were protected, he looked down at Kahlan. He knew he had to get her out of here as quickly as possible and back to the safety of the Palace.

He pulled the arrow stuck in his side out of his body, thanking the adrenaline for making it feel almost painless. He knew he would lose a lot of blood but that was the only way to carry Kahlan back to the Palace. He could let Tim carry her, but he didn't want him to touch her.

"Cassie…" He heard Kahlan whispered.

"It's okay Kahlan. She's fine, she's inside the Palace with Sylvia and Zedd." He told her reassuring her. She closed her eyes and her head fell on a side.

"Kahlan! Kahlan! Stay with me. Open your eyes." He told her, brushing her hair out of her face.

"Look at me." He told her as she finally opened her eyes.

"I'm going to carry you to the Palace and let Zedd and the healers take care of that arrow. I'm afraid that if I pull it out by myself, I may hurt your baby." He explained her.

"Richard… I…" She started but he cut her off and said: "Don't try to talk, just use your strength to stay awake."

She nodded and he lifted her in his arms. She allowed herself to rest her head in the crock of his neck, inhaling his scent. She couldn't describe how wonderful it was to be in his arms again. Even through the pain in her body was making her head spin and her vision blurry, she enjoyed every second of it.

"You're going to be okay." He told her as he started his walk back to the Palace, followed closely by Tim. He knew he had to talk to her in order to keep her awake.

"Cassie is probably waiting for you in her room." He said with a smile at the thought of his little girl. The pain in his right side was getting worst with each step he took, he could feel his clothes sticking to his skin because of the blood he had already lost. He was more than relieved when he found himself at the entrance of the Confessor Palace.

People were buzzing around him, talking to him, looking at Kahlan but somehow he didn't see them, he was focusing on getting Kahlan to her room. Each breath he was taking was torture, the pain was so intense that he couldn't talk anymore. When he finally reached Kahlan's room, the door opened in front of him, he laid her down carefully on her bed and collapsed on the floor. Kahlan was now unconscious and Richard himself was on the verge of passing out.

"Richard!" He heard Zedd said, that's only when he realized that his grandfather was already in the room. The poison at work inside his body had weakened him, he had to walk with a cane. His face was pale and sweaty. He no longer looked like the great Wizard of the first Order but like an old dying man.

"I'm okay." Richard mumbled, holding onto the bed to get back on his feet.

"Let me look at you." The tall Wizard ordered him.

"No, Kahlan and the baby first." He replied with determination. "You are too weak to heal us both. Just take care of her. I'll be alright." He added.

"Alright my boy. But let Sylvia and the healers take care of you then." Zedd told him as he turned to the maid. He knew better than to argue with his grandson when it came to Kahlan's life or safety.

"Help Lord Rahl to get to his room." The maid ordered to two soldiers standing at the door who nodded their agreement in return.

Glancing at Kahlan as Zedd was already working on her with the healers of the Palace. His instinct wanted to rush by her side to hold her and let her know that he was here for her but his head told him otherwise. The heart-wrenching sorrow that was consuming his heart and soul for the past two years took the best of him as waves of tears hit his eyes. She hated him. The last thing she probably wanted was to have him next to her. He was a coward and had left her to raise their child alone. She also had to deal with the Con'Dar alone. The way people treated her enraged him. They didn't know her, she wasn't a monster, she was kind and loving. He didn't know why the Con'Dar got so out of her control but he knew it wasn't her fault and that she blamed herself for taking the souls of innocent people. He understood now, why she was to cold and seemed heartless, it was just her protection against everything that was happening to her. It broke his heart even more to know that he was the one to blame for it.

"Make sure she's okay." He told Zedd before walking out of the room with the help of the soldiers.

Trying to concentrate on books was almost impossible. Richard needed to focus his attention on the books spread on the bed around him, it was an obligation for him to find a cure for Zedd. His grandfather was already weak and using his powers to heal Kahlan instead of fighting his infection was worsening his condition. Although Richard was glad and thankful that Zedd had been able to heal Kahlan. The events and devastating news of the day were too much to bear for him and he had been unable to concentrate.

Looking down at his chest, he cursed under his breath at the sight of the bandage wrapped tightly around his chest to help the healing of his deep wound and broken rib. He was painfully breathing but he couldn't lose time resting when Zedd's life was at stake.

"I wanted to thank you for saving my life." He heard. He could recognize her voice even if he was deaf. He was so concentrated on dealing with his pain and looking for a cure that he didn't acknowledge that someone had entered his room.

"Kahlan…" He breathlessly whispered. He quickly got on his feet while a sharp pain hit his chest. He pressed his left hand over his injury and tried to control his breathing.

"You should lay back." She told him.

He couldn't get himself to look into her eyes. What was he supposed to say to her? Zedd had told him that despite the fact that he successfully healed her, he couldn't find the spark of life inside her. She had lost her child because he hadn't been able to protect her out there. He should have seen the arrow coming. Once again, he was to blame for her pain and sadness.

Gathering all his strengths, he finally whispered: "I'm so sorry you've lost your baby."

"I never was with child." She told him calmly.

"Wh… What?" He asked taken aback by her confession. How could it be possible?

"The Council was eager for me to have another daughter after I had Cassie." She started to explained as an answer to his unspoken question.

"I couldn't get myself to lay with Tim, so Sylvia helped me and we made everyone believe that I was with child to buy my some time. Then we would have come up with something telling the child was dead. It worked up pretty well after all." She said with so much sadness in her eyes that it broke his heart.

Richard jaw's dropped and he made a step towards her. He stopped himself as he remembered that he had lost the right to hold her and comfort her two years ago.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, not really knowing what to say.

"I bet you're happy that I didn't share my bed with him." She bitterly told him.

Richard closed his eyes for a moment. She had opened up to him and now she was cold and distant just like before. When he opened his eyes, the look in hers let him know that she was waiting for an answer and that she was also trying to read him. She had never done that before. Her trust in him was gone.

"Yes." Was everything he could answer. Of course he was happy that she hadn't lain with anyone else.

"And did you think that by coming back here you could take me in your bed like nothing ever happened?" She asked, her anger rising. She didn't know or understand why but she wanted to yelled at him… hit him. Maybe it was because of the pain and sadness, she was so mad at him for leaving. Of course he left for his duty but somehow she hoped he would have chosen her instead of his quest. It was selfish, she knew it but she couldn't help herself.

As he didn't answer, she continued: "You are a Rahl after all." She knew this would set his blood on fire.

"Kahlan…" He warned gently.

"What? Lord Rahl… don't you like what you see?" She asked as she slowly started to unlace her dress. "Maybe you would like to see more or have your Mord'Sith join us." She told him, stepping closer to him.

He shook his head and said: "Don't do this Kahlan. I know you are mad at me, but don't act as if I was anything like Darken Rahl."

"You don't worth more than him." She snapped. The second she heard herself pronounce those words she regretted it. She didn't mean to be so mean to him, but he was about to leave again for the People Palace, leave her and her daughter. People always said there was a thin line between love and hate and now Kahlan understood the meaning of those words.

Breathing heavily, Richard said between clenched teeth: "I know I hurt you but I had to leave to defeat the Keeper."

"You choose your duty over me… over us." She replied as tears formed in her eyes.

"Damn it Kahlan!" He yelled. "I'm the Seeker, it was my destiny to stop the Keeper! You... you of all people should understand better than anyone the meaning of duty. That's why we came to Aydindrill in the first place!" He continued.

"Did it even cross your mind that I wanted to go with you, be with you?" She cried.

Richard opened his mouth to answer but he saw her eyes turning red and black. She jerked her head backwards and released a huge cry.

"Kahlan." He called her.

She immediately grabbed his throat and pushed him against a wall. She looked at him as he closed his eyes, ready to receive the blast of energy her powers would free in his body. He felt her hand tighten her hold on his throat, maybe she just wanted to kill him instead of confessing him. Either way, he would not fight her.

Opening his eyes, he looked at her intensely and she finally released her powers. His brown orbs turned black and his body shook under her hand. It was different than before. He remembered the feeling of her powers when they made love, but this, with the Con'Dar, it was totally different... It felt cold… When his eyes returned to their original color, her head titled to the side, staring at him.

"It's okay. I understand." He told her. Her anger against him was so strong that she couldn't control her powers.

Realization that he was not confessed hit her and she let go of him. Her eyes turned blue and she gasped in horror. The pain of his injury and the shock of her powers had drained Richard from his energy. He slid against the wall and sat down.

"I have to go." He heard her whispered before she left the room.

He closed his eyes, everything was lost. They couldn't be in the same room without yelling at each other's… Two times she had been in the Con'Dar because of him. He had to heal Zedd and fast because he couldn't handle her anger for him. It was too painful to have the woman he loved more than anything hating him so much.


	6. Chapter 6

Here comes the new chapter, I hope you'll enjoy it. Thank you so much for your reviews, they always make my day and make me wanna write faster! Thank you for your support!

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It's been two days since the Con'Dar incident. It's been two days since she last saw him. She was back at her Confessor's duties as if nothing happened, as if he wasn't even here in the Palace. She couldn't focus on the discussion the members of the Council around her were having, she was just thinking about him. She tried to confess him and it did not work. She blamed herself for not being able to control and contain her anger and letting her powers slip away from her grasp, she could have confessed the Seeker of Truth and Lord Rahl. But he still loved her and remained unarmed by her powers. She couldn't quite understand why he still loved her, after two years of separation, after thinking she was carrying the child of another, after everything she said to him… Maybe it wasn't love, maybe he had found a potion on his quest, one like Chase and his wife had the chance to have a long time ago.

"Mother Confessor." Sylvia interrupted her thoughts.

She looked up at her, nodding to allow her to speak: "Someone is here to see the Seeker."

"Then send this person to the Seeker." She replied casually.

"I thought you would want to see her first." Sylvia replied.

"See her, why?" Kahlan questioned.

"She says she's carrying the Seeker's son." Sylvia told her sadly.

Kahlan felt her heart constrict and she smiled bitterly, it was a potion that had him immune to her powers after all. And she foolishly thought that it was because he still loved her… She let herself care once again and once again her stupid hopes and dreams had been broken.

"I don't want to see her." She told the maid. Then she looked at the members of the Council and said: "This meeting is over. I'll see you tomorrow."

Once Sylvia and Kahlan were alone in the room, the maid said: "You should see her and expose her as a liar."

"Two years is a long time Sylvia… A man has needs and this girl probably took care of the Seeker's." Kahlan said bitterly.

Letting out a long sigh, Sylvia said: "You know I care about you Kahlan that's why what I'm going to tell you needs to be told even if you don't want to hear it anyway."

"Don't waste your time then." Kahlan told her.

"Your anger and hurt are so powerful that they are blinding you. Richard is madly in love about you, maybe more than before he left. This girl is lying." She said.

As Kahlan stood in front of her, emotionless, without even saying a word, she asked: "Did you talk to him about Cassie?"

Kahlan shook her head no. Releasing a sigh, the maid said: "You should talk to him Kahlan."

"I know…" The Mother Confessor whispered.

"Then go, now…" Sylvia told her with a small smile.

Kahlan nodded and reluctantly left the room to talk to Richard.

She knew she had to talk to him but she couldn't get herself to do it. She had rehearsed what she wanted to say over and over but every time, even alone in her room, she ended up crying. The last thing she wanted was to cry in front of him, make him see her weakness. She remembered the time when crying in front of him wasn't a problem because she knew he would hold her in his arms and make her feel better. But now was a different time, they couldn't talk without leading to a heated argument and finally her powers being released. She let out a long sigh on her way to his room. She missed him so deeply. She missed his smile, being in his arms, his kisses, the way he looked at her. She missed talking to him about anything and everything, the way his body fitted perfectly against hers, how he could make her heart race only by holding her hand. She missed him but somehow she couldn't get past her anger, she hated herself for that.

She finally reached his door room and knock softly.

"Come in." She heard him say.

She took a deep breath in attempt to give herself some strength but also to calm the turmoil of emotions rushing in her head and in her heart.

She stepped into the room and found him on his bed, resting his back against the headboard with a book in his hands. There were books everywhere in the room. His concentration on what he was reading gave her time to study him. He was barefoot, wearing only his usual pants, his shirt lying carelessly on the edge of the bed. She noticed the bandage around his chest, an injury like this took time to heal without the help of a Wizard.

She cleared her throat and said: "There is something I want to talk about."

"I don't really have time for an argument right now." He replied without looking up from his book.

"It's about Cassie." She firmly said but her voice cracked when she said the name of her daughter.

Richard closed the book he was reading and sat up, wincing at the pain coming from his broken rib. The look on Kahlan's face scared him.

"Is she alright?" He asked before finally getting up to face her.

She couldn't get herself to look at him in the eyes.

"Yes…" She said. "It's just… What happened in the city made me realize that she needs her father in her life."

"We've talked about it already." He told her, he had already explained that he didn't want to interfere with Tim.

"I know but if something happens to me, she'll be alone and I don't want my little girl to be alone." She explained at the verge of tears.

"She has Tim and she will have Zedd too." He said, not really understanding where this conversation was going but he hadn't seen Kahlan so opened to him since his return. Something was highly bothering her.

"Tim is not her father!" She exclaimed, finally looking straight at him.

Feeling that she was getting angry, she took at breath and continued: "He's not her father. He's just supposed to protect her, that's what I ordered him to do. She likes him because she's known him since she was born, but he is not her father... you are..."

She sat on the bed, her knees were giving up on her, it was too much to bear, trying to control her emotions, her powers… He sat next to her without saying a word, he knew her better than anyone. He knew not to push her to talk and she was thankful for that.

She locked a strand of hair behind her ear and said: "If I die, I don't want her to go thought what Dennee and I went through when our mother died. If I die, Tim won't be confessed anymore… I… I don't want her to be alone... and scared."

She couldn't contain her tears anymore, it broke Richard's heart knowing how hard it was for her to talk about what happened when she was young.

Taking another deep breath, she continued: "I was thinking that you could take her with you to D'Hara. I know she'll be safe there with you, Cara and all the Mord'Sith."

Silent tears kept rolling on her face, falling on her Confessor dress. The thought of her baby girl leaving her was unbearable, yet it was the better way to keep her safe. She had thought about it over and over again since she had received that arrow. As much as it was making her sick not to see her daughter anymore, she had this intense need to make sure Cassie would be protected and loved if anything happened to her. She didn't think she would be able to survive to their separation but it was for the best.

"I'd be the one to come visit." She said, trying to smile despite the ache in her heart.

Tears formed in Richard's eyes, he couldn't imagine what Kahlan was going through, deciding to give up her child for her safety must be the hardest thing to do for her, especially after everything she endured in the last few months.

"I'll ask Cara to stay here with you and Zedd, Cassie will be protected. I know they both willingly would give their life for our daughter." He told her.

Kahlan shook her head no and said: "You'll need Cara by your side in D'Hara and Cassie needs you to love her and care for her in case something happens to me."

He slowly reached for her hand and said : "I won't take our daughter away from you Kahlan."

He watched her closing her eyes as he ran his thumb on the back of her hand. But then, she suddenly got up and walked away from him. She made him think of a bird… she couldn't handle the fact of him being so close to her and had to fly away from him.

"You will do whatever is necessary to ensure her safety and wellbeing." She told him sternly, her face hardening suddenly.

He cringed at her words, one second she was Kahlan and the second after that she was back at being the mighty Mother Confessor. It was his fault though, he had probably frightened her.

"Before I forget, Sylvia informed me that there is a young woman claiming that she is carrying the Seeker's son. I think you might want to see the mother of your child." She said.

"She's not carrying my child." He told her as he got up from the bed to stand in front of her.

"Well, a man has needs and you're a Rahl af-…" She said but he cut her off by cupping her face with his hands and pressing his lips against hers.

His blood was boiling with anger, hearing her blaming him for being a Rahl was enraging him. He didn't want her to see him as an evil tyran. It was amazing, getting the chance to kiss her again, even if she didn't kiss him back. His anger flew away as he kissed her.

He reluctantly pulled away and told her: "You are the mother of my child. In my life, I've only been with you and I only want to be with you. I may have the same name, but you know I'm nothing like Darken Rahl. You can read her or confess her and you'll see I'm not the father of her child."

He looked down and said: "I know what I did to you in unforgivable… but I never stopped loving you."

A heavy silence filled the room but was quickly interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Yes." He said with clenched teeth, anguish once again filling his heart and soul. He had almost forgotten he was hurt but the pain in his side was becoming stronger with every breath he was taking, he knew he needed to lie down and rest. Zedd had instructed him to rest and control his breathing to ease the pain.

When the door opened, Cassie came running in, straight to her mother, hugging her legs tightly.

"She asked for you." Sylvia told her, remaining outside the room.

Kahlan nodded to her and the maid quickly closed the door and left.

Despite the pain in his side and the ache in his heart, Richard couldn't help but smiled at the sight of his daughter. She was beyond beautiful. He watched her as she walked to his bed and grabbed the shirt that he had carelessly thrown there, hopefully this one was clean and not bloody. Then Cassie climbed on the bed, crawling between the books, she finally rested her head on the pillow, tucking her thumb in her mouth and holding Richard's shirt tightly.

Richard gave a questioning look at Kahlan who simply said: "It's nap time."

"Oh." He replied before quickly walking to the bed and taking the books away from the bed and putting it on the floor.

"You should stay here with her and rest." He told her. "I'll be in the library."

"You should be the one resting. You're still injured." She said, pointing at his bandage.

"I'm okay." He lied. He began to walk to the door but stumbled and fell on the floor…


	7. Chapter 7

Hey all! Thank you so much for your reviews, they're all greatly appreciated! Here's the new chapter, I hope you'll like it!

Quick question, which story do you prefer so far? First one or this one?

* * *

Reacting out of instinct, Kahlan immediately grabbed Richard before he hit the floor. She didn't need her Confessor powers to know that he was far from okay. His face was pale and sweaty, probably from trying to whist hold the pain.

"Let's get you to bed." She told him, walking towards the bed with her arm around his waist. She looked at the bed and smiled at Cassie, trying to reassure her as the little girl watched her parents intensely, trying to understand what was going on in the room around her.

Richard sat on the bed and Kahlan let go of him.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"Lay down." She instructed sternly.

He did as he was told and laid on the bed. Kahlan watched her daughter scooting closer to him. There was an undeniable bound between them, she didn't know how this was possible but they were linked somehow. Cassie acted as if she'd known Richard for a long time. She was usually shy and hiding behind Kahlan's legs when strangers were around her, but not with him. Maybe it was Richard's way with kids, he loved them and they loved him. But Kahlan liked to think that the bond between a father and her daughter was beyond that. And with Rahl's magic running through their veins, who knew how strong the link between them was.

What happened in the city made her realize that her daughter needed her father. Even if things were difficult between her and Richard, Cassie deserved to have a father who loved her. Kahlan had suffered enough because of hers, she didn't want her daughter to suffer too.

"Kahlan." Richard called, taking out off her thoughts. She looked at him and couldn't help but smile at the sight of Cassie strongly tugging at Richard's necklace. Richard on the other side looked half frightened and half amazed, looking back and forth between Cassie and Kahlan. He didn't know what the little girl wanted but Kahlan knew exactly what she was waiting for.

"Can you lie on your side?" She asked him gently.

He nodded and she told him: "Then lie on your side, pull the covers over the both of you and wrap your arms around her."

Richard did as he was told after a short moment of hesitation and Cassie buried her face in his chest.

"That's how we take naps." Kahlan told him with a small smile.

He smiled back at her and she got up and said: "I'll be back in an hour or so."

"No! Kahlan wait! What if she doesn't fall asleep? Or if she falls asleep and then wakes up?" He asked.

"You will be fine Richard." She told him.

"No, please stay. She doesn't know me, what if she cries or asks for you? Please Kahlan. I don't want her to be scared because you're not here." He explained.

Letting out a small sigh, she sat on the chair next to the bed and took a book that she started to read. It was weird seeing him insecure about his own daughter. She couldn't blame him though, he didn't want to scare the little girl, he was just a stranger to her after all.

Richard watched her as tears pooled in his eyes. He was torn between the happiness of having his baby girl in his arms and the sadness of the disappointment he was for Kahlan. Looking down at Cassie, he kissed her on the forehead, praying to the good Spirits that he will be a good father for her. His eyes were feeling heavy, he tried to stay awake but sleep slowly took him away from consciousness and he imagined Kahlan lying with them in bed. Having both of his girls in his arms was something he couldn't have anymore, something he dreamt more than once in his life, even before he knew Kahlan and him could be together.

He felt Cassie move in his arms and immediately opened his eyes, fearing that something was wrong with her or that she simply wanted to leave the bed to go to her mother. She had just shifted to get more comfortable, her eyes were already closed.

"I'd rather have you hating me but alive than in the Underworld with the Keeper." He told Kahlan.

"Get some sleep." She answered him without looking up from her book.

Richard swallowed hard and closed his eyes, the dream of having a family with her was definitely a lost cause.

*o*o*o*o*o*o*

Kahlan woke up with a start, her neck and back aching from her position on her chair.

"Well, it's true, you only sleep when Lord Rahl is around." She heard.

"Cara…" She mumbled. "What are you doing here?"

"What a Mord'Sith does, serve and protect." Cara replied, crossing her arms over her chest. The blond woman sat on a chair next to Kahlan, her legs resting at the edge of Richard's bed.

"So, this is little Confessor Rahl?" Cara asked, looking at Kahlan's daughter in Richard's arms.

"Her name is Cassie." Kahlan replied.

"Well, we haven't been properly introduced." The Mord'Sith said with a shrug of her shoulders. "You should probably wake her." She added.

"Why?" Kahlan asked, surprised by Cara's statement.

"Because Richard is going to wake up screaming your name and she'll be scared." Cara explained.

"How do you know?" Kahlan asked, it sounded absurd to her.

"I've spent the last two years living with him and I know he's not able to sleep long before waking up from a nightmare and screaming your name." Cara explained with a sigh.

Fortunately, Cassie awoke by herself, probably because of the sound of her mother's voice. She left Richard's arms and went to Kahlan who gladly picked her up and kissed her on the top of the head. Noticing Cara, Cassie buried her face in her mother's neck.

Cara shifted on her chair to take a better look at her Lord Rahl's daughter.

Cassie turned her head and looked away from her, tightening her hold on her mother.

"She's scared of me." Cara stated.

"She doesn't know you yet." Kahlan replied to the Mord'Sith before saying to her daughter: "It's alright baby. It's Cara, she's a… friend."

"Oh, I see, we're friends again now." Cara snorted.

Kahlan let out a small sigh, she knew better than to answer the Mord'Sith.

"Kahlan…" They heard Richard whispering in his sleep.

"It's starting." Cara stated.

"No… Kahlan please… no." He said louder. He gripped the sheets tightly, his face giving on the painfulness of his nightmare.

"KAHLAN!" He shouted, waking up and sitting up straight in his bed, making Kahlan jump in her chair. He looked over at Cara and Kahlan, his breathing was erratic and sweat covered his body.

Without a word, he got up from the bed and walked outside to the balcony of his room. The air felt cold on his skin but he didn't care. The images of his nightmare kept replaying again and again.

He heard her walking next to him, closing his eyes, he allowed himself to enjoy her scent filling his nose. His breathing returned to normal and after a moment he was finally able to speak.

"I'm sorry you had to witness this." He whispered. "I think I know what I can do to heal Zedd. I'll be gone soon."

"I'll get Cassie's things ready and a journey book to keep in touch if you don't mind." Kahlan told him.

"I told you before, I'm not taking her away from you. I hurt you enough and I don't want to cause you more pain." He said, looking at the city in front of him.

"I'm asking you Richard, as a favor. Take our daughter with you. It's far too dangerous for her to stay with me. Please." She whispered as tears rolled down her face.

"I can stay, if you want me to. I can stay with you." He told her, turning to face her. It was his last try, if there was a small chance that she still loved him, she would tell him to stay. He doubted she would, but he had to try.

She wasn't able to look at him, she knew what she had to say to make sure he would leave. He had no future with her. He was Lord Rahl and belonged to the People's Palace, she was a monster and she couldn't give him a son. His nightmare made her realize that she had to set him free. He needed to move on. Even if he was still in love with her like the Con'Dar and her powers had shown her, one day he would wake up and realize the monster she was. Ever since they admitted their feelings to each other, she knew she was being selfish and that he deserved someone better than her.

She slowly turned to him and said: "There is nothing left for you here, no reason to stay. I'm going to bed Tim and carry his child."

Her words cut his heart in half and for a moment he couldn't breathe. Tears threatened to fall on his face and he swallowed hard.

He waited a moment to gather his thoughts and finally, he cleared his throat and said: "I wish you could understand and forgive me for leaving."

"I can't." She whispered, shaking her head slightly. Her words were hurting herself as much as hurting him. She was lying to him and hurting him on purpose, she thought that this pay back would ease her mind, quell her anger but it did nothing of the sort. It only made her heart break even more.

"Alright." He said, rubbing his face with his hands, drying his tears in the process.

"I just want you to know that…" He started. "Until my last breath, I'll cherish the moments we spent together, I'll think of the family we should have, I'll remember your smile and how good it felt to have you in my arms…"

He stepped close to her and brushed a strand of hair out of her fair and added: "But Kahlan… I'll never regret leaving you because I kept you and our daughter safe. I stopped the Keeper so he couldn't claim your souls. Kahlan… I will love you until my very last breath."

He softly kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger on her skin for a moment in order to remember her scent and how soft her skin was.

She closed her eyes and fought the urge to wrap her arms around him and burry her face in his neck. She had to let him go.

The moment ended too soon as he pulled away from her.

"As I told you before, Mother Confessor…" He started, the use of her title making her cringe as he tried to gather himself together before adding: "I'm not taking your daughter away from you. I'll heal Zedd and leave. I'll take that journey book with me to stay in touch with Aydindrill."

He ran his hand through his hair, looking at her intensely and said: "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have duties to attend to."

He bowed at her and left her alone on the balcony.


	8. Chapter 8

I don't know what to think about this story anymore...

* * *

"Zedd!" The Mother Confessor exclaimed as she walked past the tall and old Wizard.

"It's good to see you finally up and about." She exclaimed with a smile.

"Thank you my dear." The old man replied.

"I'm glad Richard finally found a cure." She said.

Richard. She hadn't seen him for the past week, after their last encounter on the balcony. She couldn't blame him for not trying to see her after what she told him but deep in her heart, she hoped that he would try, that he would fight for her. What a fool she was, pushing away the man she loved and hoping for him to fight back for their love.

"Me too, me too." Zedd replied absentmindedly before starting to walk away.

"Zedd, wait!" Kahlan stopped him. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes my dear, of course everything is alright." He replied before adding: "I must leave you know, I have some important work to do."

Kahlan nodded and watch him go. Something was totally off with him. At first she thought it was because he was still shaken up from what happened to him, but he lied to her when she asked if everything was alright. A Wizard of the first order should know better than to lie to a Confessor though.

She looked for Sylvia in the Palace until she found her. The maid knew everything going on, she would probably know what was wrong with Zedd.

"Ha! Sylvia." Kahlan exclaimed.

"Mother Confessor." Sylvia replied before bowing in front of Kahlan.

"Have you seen Zedd lately?" She asked casually.

"Yes, he's feeling much better now." The maid replied.

"I just saw him and he was looking rather annoyed or worried. Do you know anything about that?" Kahlan asked.

"No." She replied quickly. "Yes… No…" She said with a sigh, knowing that she couldn't lie to the Mother Confessor or to any Confessor as a matter of fact.

Kahlan crossed her arms and stood silent with a stern look on her face until Sylvia finally gave up.

"Something happened, I don't know what it is. All I can say is that ever since Zedd was healed, Cara is not allowing anyone inside the room." The maid said with a sigh.

"I haven't seen Lord Rahl since last week." Sylvia added, knowing the question Kahlan wouldn't dare to ask but was dying to know the answer.

"I'll find Cara and ask her what is going on." Kahlan stated before leaving.

It was all too weird. Something inside of her told her that Richard was in danger. The worried expression on Zedd's face, Sylvia telling her that he hadn't been seen in a week, Cara guarding the door… Something was wrong and she was determined to find out what it was.

Coming to a stop when she spotted Cara standing with her back against the door, Kahlan was about to speak when the Mord'Sith interrupted her: "You know I'm not letting you in, don't you?"

"I'm not in the mood Cara. What's going on?" The Mother Confessor asked.

"Nothing is going on, Lord Rahl only wants to be left alone." Cara replied, pushing herself off the door.

"You're lying." Kahlan said sternly.

"How would you know, you can't read Mord'Sith." Cara snorted.

"Cara…" Kahlan sighed as she rubbed her hand over her forehead. "If something is wrong with Richard, I have the right to know."

"Lord Rahl only wants to rest." The blonde replied.

When Kahlan reached for the handle, Cara stopped her by grabbing her wrist.

"Kahlan." She warned, letting go of her friend's hand.

"I want to see him." She said with determination.

"He doesn't want you to see him." Cara explained. "You can't see him Kahlan."

"Is he with another woman?" Kahlan asked.

"Oh come on Kahlan, you know he's not! And why would you care? You told him that you would take Tim to your bed after all." Cara told her.

Reaching again for the handle of the door, her hand was blocked again by Cara.

"I mean it Kahlan, he doesn't want you to see him, not like this." Cara said, sadness and pain flashing in her eyes for an instant.

"What do you mean?" Kahlan asked, looking intently in the Mord'Sith eyes.

"He's bad Kahlan. He tried to heal Zedd but he couldn't find a cure, so he decided to use a reversing spell and took back to poison into his body. The problem is that his magic is not strong enough to fight like Zedd could… I'm not sure he'll make it through the night if Zedd doesn't come back with something to help him." Cara explained as tears pooled in her eyes.

Taken aback by Cara's explanation, Kahlan tried to process everything her friend just told her.

"He's dying?" She asked, putting her hand for support against the wall.

"I'm afraid so. I'm sorry." Cara said as she looked down, she had failed to protect her Lord Rahl.

When Kahlan reached for the handle for the third time, Cara offered no resistance and let her in. No matter what was going on or Richard's order not to let Kahlan in, she knew they both needed each other even if her mind didn't seem to understand why.

"Kahlan." The Mord'Sith slowly called. "I won't be able to give him the breath of life with the poison in his system."

The Mother Confessor nodded sadly and slowly closed the door behind her. She made her way to the bed where Richard was lying, emotionless. Tears pooled in her eyes at the view of his body. All over him, his skin was red and black, like it has been burnt but at the same time it seemed smooth and shiny, almost like porcelain. Only his head and neck remained unarmed by the poison so far. She sat on the chair next to him and took his hand in hers, she could watch his shirtless chest slowly rising at the rhythm of his slow breathing. His skin was so cold that it made her shiver. She closed her eyes, sending a prayer to the Good Spirits to keep him safe.

"You shouldn't be here." He whispered.

"I know." She told him, keeping her eyes closed.

"I don't want you to see me like this." He said, trying to breathe through the pain.

"You're going to be alright." She told him before sitting on the bed closer to him.

He slowly shook his head no and with a sad smile he said: "I can't feel my legs and the rest of my body feels heavy like stone."

"Zedd will be back with a cure." She tried to reassure him.

"We both know this is no cure Kahlan." He said, swallowing hard.

"You are not going to die Richard." She stated firmly.

"It's alright Kahlan. We know Seekers don't live that long. Remember I used to think that I would die while defeating Darken Rahl. The Rahl family has history in dying young." He said, trying to ease the tension with some humor but failing miserably.

"Besides I don't want to grow old and alone in the People's Palace." He quickly added before she had the chance to talk. He tried to speak again but the pain stopped him. It was hard for him to breath but he tried to hide his pain for her. If he was to die, he wanted her to remember that he was brave.

The room was silent for a while, Richard didn't know if it was his imagination but he felt tingles in the hand Kahlan was holding. His body was turning into stone, he wasn't supposed to feel anything. Maybe it was just his imagination, but his hand felt warmer with hers on it.

"I need to ask you something." He softly said after a while.

"Anything." She replied.

"I want to be buried with my father and my brother in Hartland." He explained.

"You are not going to die." She repeated.

"I am Kahlan." He said before closing his eyes.

"Look at me." She ordered gently. She waited until he obliged and continued: "You are not going to die because our daughter needs you."

Richard smiled at her and said: "No, she has you and Sylvia and Tim and she'll have Zedd and Cara. She will be fine and you will be too."

He paused for a moment to catch his breath and continued: "You raised her alone and she's a wonderful little girl, the love and bond you both share is incredible and beautiful. You will be just fine without me."

She took a huge breath to give her strength as tears rolled down her cheeks and said: "Richard I… I lo—"

"Don't say it." He interrupted. "Don't say it because I'm dying... Don't say it to make me feel better or give me some kind of relief or closure."

She looked down and blinked more tears, he was right. If she wanted to tell him that she still loved him, she should have done it sooner, not now when he was so close to leave her forever. It would be unfair to him. She tightened her hold on his hand and felt him squeeze hers in return. When she looked down at it, she realized it was back to its normal skin color.

"Richard… your… your hand!" She exclaimed.

"It takes longer for the poison to turn the extremities of the body into stone." He explained.

The poison was now slowly covering half of his neck, placing red and black burn marks in its wake. His whole body started to tremble and Kahlan gasped.

"It's okay… I'm… I'm okay." He said, between clenched teeth. It was harder and harder for him to breath. He was feeling like his chest was struck under a rock and the pain was unbearable, he was silently praying to pass out. He was trying to stay in control, like Denna had taught him to, he had to, for Kahlan but it was more and more difficult.

Several minutes passed as he tried to control his breathing as Kahlan cried silently, powerless as the poison was slowly killing the man she loved.

"Cassie…" He whispered.

"Do you want to see her?" Kahlan asked.

"No… not like this… I… I wish I had more time with… her." He said as tears rolled down his cheeks.

His body finally relaxed and stopped shaking and he smiled at her.

"I love you Kahlan Amnell." He told her before closing his eyes.

"No…" Kahlan whispered, the cries that had been so far silent turned into uncontrollable sobs. He was gone.

"Richard!" She called out as she shook his arm. "Don't do this."

She pushed herself closer to him, her head resting on his chest as tears streamed down her face and wetted his abdomen. Pressing her ear above his heart, she hoped to hear his heartbeat, the one that had comforted her so many times. Nothing.

"Richard please…" She pleaded. "I love you. I love you. I love you." She repeated.

Feeling the need to be closer to him, she straddled his lap and buried her face in the crock of his neck. "Don't leave me again please." She whispered as she sobbed even more.

"I need you with me… please..." She said as one of her hand ran through his hair.

For a very brief moment she thought she could die with him, she had her daggers with her, it would be easy but thinking about her daughter quickly erased everything. So many times in the past she had wanted to take her own life but every time she found the strength to keep on living in her daughter's eyes. How could Richard do that to her? Leaving her alone again to raise their daughter on her own? How could he die on her just like that? She needed him, she needed him more than air to breath. He didn't even fight, he was willing to die. She felt anger rising inside of her, she pulled off him and slammed her fists against his chest.

"Come back to me." She ordered as she kept on hitting him.

Before she knew it, the Con'Dar took over her and her eyes turned black. She sat up and threw her head backwards letting out a scream full of pain and anguish.

"I said, come back to me." She said again, gripping his throat and releasing her power on him and at the same moment, Cara rushed inside the room.


	9. Chapter 9

Here comes the new chapter. I hope you'll enjoy reading it. Feedback is always appreciated and motivating. Thanks for all the reviews, they protected me from writer's block (or almost) so far!

* * *

Richard brutally sat up on the bed and gasped for air. His lungs were burning but the coldness the poison gave to his body was fading as Kahlan's powers warmed his blood. Kahlan… she was sitting across his legs, her face stained with her tears. He held her gaze for a moment before resting his forehead on her shoulder. She instinctively wrapped her left arm around him for support while the other travelled from the back of his neck to his hair. She closed her eyes and kissed to top of his head as the effect of the Con'Dar subsided leaving her weak.

"I thought I had lost you." She whispered.

"You brought me back." He replied, letting one of his hand rest on her tight.

"How?" She asked.

"Your powers." He whispered.

They heard the door of the room open and close, Kahlan had almost forgotten that Cara rushed inside the room when she heard the released of her powers. The Mord'Sith had probably left them alone, but even if it wasn't the case, she didn't care. It was just her and Richard right now. She wondered if he could hear her heart pounding in her chest, the result of the fear of losing him and the excitement of being so close to him.

"Lay back." She gently instructed, pushing him slowly backwards.

"Stay… please." He asked, the hand that was on her tight moved to her waist, clutching her tightly. He was not ready to let her go yet. Feeling his distress, she tightened her hold on him until she felt him relax in her arms. She gently pushed him backwards a second time and he finally laid back. She noticed that her tears were diminishing the effects of the poison on his skin.

"My tears, it's healing you." She said, running her fingers over his chest where his skin had turned back into its normal color.

"It's love." He said with a smile. "Your powers, your tears, your touch…"

"There is no magic more powerful than love." She whispered.

He nodded and closed his eyes, the poison and its pain taking the best of him again.

She hated to see him like that and she was so scared of losing him again. But if her powers had saved him once, it would save him again and help him get better. She didn't really know how it worked, how she could fight the poison with her powers, but she thanked the Spirits that she could. His breathing was coming in gasps again and she knew what she had to do, she released her powers on him for the second time and collapsed on his chest, exhausted but glad she could save him.

"Thank you." He whispered, keeping his eyes closed.

She struggled to get off him, not wanting to hurt him. She was about to feint, she had no energy left in her body. She tried to move away from him but he held her close, his hands holding her waist. She finally settled her head in the crock of his neck and draped her hand over his heart, just to make sure it was still beating.

Richard felt her tremble in his arms. He reached for the blanket with one hand, not wanting to let go and pulled it over her, the movement caused him to hiss because of the pain.

"You… going to die?" She mumbled.

"I don't think so." He told her.

"Hmm." She said as sleep claimed her. "I love you." She whispered. She waited for a moment, fighting against sleep hoping that he would tell her that he loved her too but he said nothing. She closed her eyes, trying to stop the waves of tears threatening to fall and finally she let sleep take her.

*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*

The release of her powers was heard again. She didn't know how many times she did it. Everything she knew was that she was exhausted and that she wanted to see her daughter. She was still lying on Richard's chest, his skin was hotter now and had returned to its usual color. He hadn't awaked yet and she was glad he didn't. Her nose started bleeding again, forcing her to push herself away from him. Quickly grabbing a tissue, she pressed it against her nose to stop the blood from staining her white dress and everything around her. The multiples use of her powers had caused the bleeding but Zedd told her that she would be fine.

His body moved next to her, drawing her attention back on him as she settled her back against the headboard of the bed. He whispered her name a few time, he was having a nightmare again. His breathing quickened and he woke up screaming her name.

"It's okay, I'm right here." She told him softly.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he tried to catch his breath.

She nodded and he sat on the bed next to her, his back resting against the headboard as well.

"Your nightmare, what is it about?" She asked him.

"You…" He whispered, looking down. "No matter what, it always ends up the same way." Tears pooled in his eyes and he hung his head in shame.

"No matter the place, the time, I always run you through with the Sword of Truth." He told her.

"It's just a nightmare…" She told him, trying to reinsure him as she noticed his despair.

"It's not just a nightmare Kahlan, it's real… It feels real." He said, shaking his head.

"Do you think it's a prophecy?" She asked, trying to understand him.

"No, prophecies are supposed to help foresee the future… This nightmare is about what I did to you. How much I hurt you…" He replied with a long sigh before closing his eyes and resting his head against the headboard and continued: "I hurt you, I betrayed you and I've let you down. I wonder if I could have done things differently and maybe take you with me on my quest but something tells me that I would have lost you and our daughter to the Keeper for good."

There was a moment of silence while he thought about the day he left her, that day he knew he would regret his actions until the end of his life. He knew he would lose her, he knew she wouldn't forgive him for leaving her like that, without a goodbye but that was also the day he knew he would keep her safe. At the time he didn't know she was with child but thinking about it now just made him sure that he had done the right choice for her and their daughter.

"Even though I know I made the right choice, I wish I didn't have to leave." He said, keeping his eyes closed. "I wish we could go back to the way things were before I left. I keep hoping that everything is just a nightmare and I'm going to wake up in our bed, holding you in my arms."

"Me too…" She whispered.

There was another long moment of silence and Richard was the first to break it by saying: "I feel better now, you don't have to stay here anymore. You must miss Cassie."

"I do miss her, but Zedd instructed us not to get up without his authorization." Kahlan replied with a smile.

"I was asleep when he told you that, I could always pretend that I didn't know and come back with Cassie if you want to." He said. He missed her daughter as well and he wanted to spend time with her.

"I'm sure someone is going to check on us soon and we'll ask for our daughter." She told him. They both needed to rest and as much as Kahlan wanted to see her daughter, she knew it wouldn't be good to get out of bed, she felt weak and dizzy even if she didn't want to admit it.

"Maybe we should get more sleep then." Richard proposed, moving from sitting against the headboard to lie down on his back. He closed his eyes when his head hit the pillow. Kahlan imitated him but rolled on her side to face him.

She stared at him for a long time, watching his chest slowly rise and fall.

"What's wrong?" He asked, startling her.

"Nothing." She replied, rolling onto her back.

Richard chuckled and said: "Typical Kahlan Amnell."

"Maybe I should go." She told him. She tried to get off from the bed but he rolled on his side and grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Stay." He ordered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be harsh. It's just that there was a time when you could tell me what was on your mind and not go all Mother Confessor on me."

She let out a small sigh and asked: "Would you stay? I mean, here in Aydindrill, with us."

"I… I don't know… I have to go to D'Hara and…" He said but she cut him off.

"It's alright… I understand… Forget I ever asked." She said with a smile. "You should get some rest." She added, smiling at him again.

"Would you want me to stay?" He asked her.

"I can't ask you to stay, you are the Lord Rahl and you belong in D'Hara." She replied. She was being selfish, she couldn't ask him to stay just because she needed him and their daughter to be with her in Aydindrill.

"You are not answering my question." He said softly. "Do you want me to stay?" He asked again.

"Maybe… I don't know…" She said biting her bottom lip.

"I could stay for Cassie." He proposed. "I'm not taking her away from you to D'Hara but if we are to stay here, we have to make it work."

Kahlan nodded and asked: "Does it mean that you're staying?"

"Yes…" He answered with a smile.

"I thought a lot about what you told me… how you want her to have a father who loves her without being told to… I know how much your father hurt you and I want you to know that I'll spend the rest of my life taking care of our daughter and making up for the months I wasn't here for her." He told her.

"Thank you." She said softly. "You don't know how much it means to me… to Cassie."

"Kahlan, your nose is bleeding." He told her.

"I'm sorry." She apologized before pressing her tissue on her nose again.

"I'm the one sorry for putting you through so much pain again." He told her.

"I couldn't let the father of my child die on me." She said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

"Do you think we can make it work?" He asked. "I don't know how to be a father… We have our duties and we're not…"

"Together?" She asked.

He nodded and said: "I know you are angry at me and I don't blame you, but we can't argue and fight all the time. Last time I raised my voice at you and I scared Cassie. I don't want that to happen again."

"I know…" She whispered. She didn't understand, she had told him that she loved him and she knew that he still loved her and yet he was talking as if nothing happened. Maybe his love for her wasn't the same, maybe he finally became immune to her powers because of the numerous times she had released them on him. Maybe he just loved her as a friend and because she was the mother of his child, maybe he still loved her but he just didn't want to be with her, she was a confessor and monster after all… Besides, he was only staying for Cassie. Realization that there was no future for them as a couple hit her.

"You could attend to your duties in the morning and I, in the afternoon so we can both spend time with her on our free time." She proposed.

"We could do that." He replied, nodding his head slightly. Her plans didn't included seeing each other. One would be working while the other would be taking care of their daughter. It was not what his heart wanted but it was better than losing them both. Of course she had told him that she loved him but that was just because she thought it would make him feel better. Somehow he didn't want her to love him, he didn't deserve her. He wasn't worth of her love, she was the Mother Confessor and he was just a woods guide pretending to be Lord Rahl. She deserved better. She deserved someone who wouldn't her hurt the way he had, someone she could trust. Someone who wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. He wasn't this man anymore. He wouldn't even dare to ask her to be friends.

"My powers are back." She said as she reached for him to release her powers again.

He stopped her and said: "I'm fine now. Thank you for saving my life."

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes. Now get some rest, you look exhausted." He replied with a smile. He didn't want her to bleed again, as much as he loved to feel her powers going through his body, claiming something that already belonged to her, he knew that it was draining her strengths. The fact that she didn't even tried to lie about her tiredness as she closed her eyes comforted him in his decision.

He watched her settling under the covers and she quickly fell asleep. Sadness filled his heart at the thought of how he screwed everything up between them. He was mad at himself… he should have fought harder and faster on his quest to defeat the Keeper. He should have asked Zedd to name a new Seeker to save the world. He should have stayed and protected the woman he loved.

Tears filled his eyes as he watched her, memories of the time they could be together filling his mind. He scooted close to her and kissed her forehead before whispering: "I love you Kahlan."


	10. Chapter 10

Hey! I hope everyone is having or had some happy holidays! What's best to start 2013 with a new chapter?

Hit the review button and tell me what you think! Do you want more drama?

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They had barely seen each other since he got better. As they decided together, Richard was attending to his duties in the morning, while Kahlan was attending to hers in the afternoon, giving both some time with their daughter. Kahlan would spend all morning with Cassie, reading her about the history of Confessors or just playing together. Cara was always with them from the moment they woke up, following closely Richard's orders to protect them and make sure they were safe. Finally back to being friends, Kahlan often teased Cara about how soft she was becoming when she was around the little girl. The Mord'Sith made the Mother Confessor promise that no one would know about it. Even though the blond rolled her eyes every time Cassie lifted her arms at her to be picked up, she enjoyed that the daughter of her Lord Rahl liked her.

The three girls had their lunches in the kitchens together, often joined by Zedd and his furious appetite. Once their plates were empty, Kahlan used to kiss her daughter on the forehead before leaving her with Zedd and Cara to attend to her duties.

The mighty Lord Rahl, as for him, was always having lunch in his office. It was brought to him by Sylvia, allowing getting more work done during his always busy mornings. Then, Zedd would enter his office with Cassie in his arms indicating that his work was over. The good weather allowed him to spend his afternoons outside with his daughter. She loved water and they enjoyed taking a swim in the small lake of the Palace's garden. All the splashing and laughing lead to her naptime that was taking place under the shadow of a tree. He could watch her sleep for hours. She was beautiful and perfect, just like her mother.

This afternoon was like every other, he was watching his daughter sleep peacefully next to him, when she would wake up and they'll look for birds or squirrels.

Richard sighed when he felt his body tense, looking down on at his chest, he saw his skin turning red just above his heart. He massaged his pectoral in attempt to stop the awkward tingling in his chest. The poison was slowly spreading again. The many uses of the power of Confession on him allowed him to get better but not to heal fully. Last time he was with Kahlan, she was exhausted and her nose was bleeding, he didn't want to make her use her powers again. And after a week without seeing her, he didn't feel like finding her to ask for a favor.

"You should talk to her." He heard Cara say behind him.

"It's fine." He replied.

"Are you waiting to get really sick again so your Confessor will lie with you in bed?" The Mord'Sith teased.

Maybe he was… "Of course not." He told her. "I just don't want to bother her."

"Well, here's your chance, she's coming over here." Cara told him as she moved to stand behind him.

"Kahlan, hi." He greeted softly with a small smile. "Is everything alright?"

It was unusual for her not to be working in the afternoon, maybe something was wrong.

"Yes. One of my meetings was cancelled so I have some time to myself this afternoon. I was just going to enjoy the sun and read near the lake." She explained, showing the book in her hand.

"It's good that you have some time off, Mother Confessor." Cara stated behind Richard. She grabbed the left side of his shirt and tore it in half, exposing the part of his chest where the poison was hurting him.

"I'll leave you to alone." The Mord'Sith stated before walking away with a proud smile on her face.

"Richard…" Kahlan breathed as she let her book fall at her feet.

"It's alright." He told her.

She moved closed to him and let her fingers caress his chest just above his heart. She was like mesmerized, his chiseled chest under her touch was sending shivers all over her body.

He closed his eyes at the feel of her fingers on him, he could smell the lavender scent of her hair, feel her hot breath on the skin of his chest.

"Why didn't you say anything?" She asked him, causing him to open his eyes and look at her.

"I didn't want to bother you." He replied, letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

She released her powers before he could stop her. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her against his body knowing that she would be needing help to stay on her feet.

"I've got you." He whispered when her knees gave out. She rested her forehead on his shoulder praying silently to stay in his arms forever.

"Mama!" A little voice called.

Pulling away from him, Kahlan smiled and bent down on the floor next to her daughter who had just awoke.

"Hey baby girl." She said, giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek. "Have fun this afternoon, I'll see you tonight."

Without looking at him, she picked up the book she had dropped on the floor.

"Why don't you stay with us?" He proposed.

"It's your time with her, I don't want to interfere." She explained, giving him a small smile.

"Maybe it would be good for her, to spend time with the both of us." He said.

"I just don't want to get in the way." She told him.

"You are her mother, you can't get in the way. Come on, stay with us please." He told her as he sat on the ground, his back resting against a large tree.

"Alright." She conceded before sitting between her daughter and Richard.

There was a moment of silence when they both watched their daughter crawling on Kahlan's lap.

Richard cleared his throat and said: "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." She told him with a smile.

"How was it, giving birth?" He asked, unsure if he had the right.

"Hard." Was all she replied.

He nodded and closed his eyes. Clearly she didn't want to talk to him. He was torn between his need to know and not to push her to talk. He could feel her struggling with her emotions next to him, everything he wanted to do was to wrap his arms around her and comfort her.

"I was in labor for twelve hours." She said, making him open his eyes and look at her.

He stood silent, she knew he was staring at her but she couldn't get herself to look in his eyes. She focused her attention on the grass ahead of her, lost in the memories of giving birth to her daughter.

"During the first hours, I thought that I would be brave. The pain was manageable, Sylvia kept me company, we talked, keeping my mind off things." She said with a smile.

"After that, the pain got stronger and I was having troubles breathing, I don't know how long it took, a few hours maybe before my body was ready to give birth." She shifted uncomfortably still looking ahead of her as Cassie crawled her way to her father.

"The pain became so strong that I couldn't hold onto my powers, I released it more times than I can count. I was exhausted and everyone kept telling me that I had to stay awake and focused. I missed you so much. I wanted to sleep and I wanted the pain to stop. Everyone expected me to be strong but I couldn't, not without you. When they asked me to push, I … I just couldn't. My vision was blurry and I asked for you… I cried and I begged for you. I wanted you to help me get through this, to see your own daughter being born." She continued to talk as tears rolled down her cheeks. Richard pulled Cassie in his arms and the little girl grabbed his pendant. He looked down at her with a small smile and tears in his eyes.

She chuckled, causing him to look back at her and she said: "I kept thinking that if I could wait a little more, maybe you would came running in and hold me. Then I remember Sylvia yelling and saying that if I didn't push, the baby would die. I couldn't let our daughter die, I knew that you would never forgive me if I did. So I pushed and finally she was here. I heard her cry and it was beautiful. They placed her on top of me and she was so tiny, she was perfect."

She locked her hair behind her ear and took a breath before adding: "The world stopped at this very moment. I remember all the servants, Sylvia and the midwife moving quickly around me, they all looked worried but I didn't care. It was just my daughter and I. I knew something was wrong with me. I didn't know what it was but I was cold and so, so tired. Everyone was telling me to stay awake but I just wanted to sleep. I closed my eyes and I was gone."

"You…" He whispered. He was speechless.

She nodded and dried the tears on her face. She had died that day.

"I know it sounds crazy but I saw you. It wasn't like a dream, I couldn't explain it really, but you were there. You told me that I had to go back to our daughter and love her enough for the both of us. You told me that you loved us more than anything and that you knew that I was strong enough to raise our baby." She explained, her voice almost a whisper.

"I remember…" He replied, taking her aback.

She turned to face him but he didn't look at her and he said: "I died that day too. We were surrounded by banelings and one of them hit me with an axe. I remember seeing you too. You couldn't be here, I didn't want you to be here, you told me you just gave birth to our daughter, that she was beautiful. As much as I wanted to be with you again, I knew I couldn't let you stay with me. You had to go back."

"Then you disappeared…" She said.

"Cara gave me the breath of life and Zedd healed me. I… Kahlan… I thought it was just a hallucination or a dream…" He told her.

"You saved me." She said with a smile.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you." He apologized.

"I know." She replied before taking a breath and adding: "When I woke up, everyone was gone and Cassie was sleeping on my chest against me. It didn't take long until she woke up and cried to be fed. She always had Zedd's appetite."

"Talking about Zedd…" Richard said as he pointed at the old man walking towards them.

"Kahlan…" Richard called softly as the woman next to him looked like she was caught in a day dream.

She turned her head to look at him and he said: "Thank you for telling me what you just did. I know it must be painful… I know sorry will never be enough… I will never be able to make it up for the lost time but I needed to know what happened when she was born. Thank you."

"There you are my boy!" Zedd called from afar before Kahlan could reply to him, even if she didn't know what to say to him.

"Richard!" Zedd called again. He was looking scared or worried… Something was definitely wrong.

"Calm down Zedd, I'm not going anywhere." The Seeker joked.

"I'm afraid you must have to." The Wizzard stated sadly, coming to a stop before them. They both got up, worried and concerned about what was going on and what could be happening for Zedd to be in such a state. Richard tightened his hold on his daughter as she was tugging at his shirt and hair.

"Riots! Riots! Everywhere!" The old man exclaimed. "You must go and calm your people before a war begins!"

"What's wrong with them? What do they want?" Richard asked.

"My head…" Kahlan replied softly.

"What? No… Kahlan… no." He told her.

"They think you are confessed to me, the monster who can't control her powers." She explained.

"You are not the person they think you are Kahlan." He told her softly.

"I'll go and talk to them, let them know that I'm not confessed. Zedd will come with me and Cara will stay here with Kahlan and Cassie." He added quickly before anyone could object.

"How far away are the riots?" Kahlan asked wanting to know how long he will be gone.

"Two days by horse." The Wizzard answered.

"I'll only be gone for less than a week." Richard said before kissing his daughter's head.

"Just don't forget to say goodbye this time." Kahlan told him. "Come on baby girl, let's get you inside." She added taking Cassie from Richard's arms and walking away as quickly as she could. He was leaving again and it broke her heart.

Richard hung his head in shame, her words hitting him straight in the heart.


	11. Chapter 11

Hi all! How much do you enjoy this quick update? And now, say hello to drama and I hate you to the writer! Thanks for the support and the reviews, keep it coming!

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Kahlan opened her eyes and groaned in pain. She felt dizzy. Where was she? Her whole body was aching. Her arms were tied above her head to the ceiling, high enough to prevent her toes from touching the floor. Her ankles were tied together as well. She was in the middle of a round room and even if her vision was blurry she could see the lights of some candles and the walls made of stone. Then it all came back to her. They had taken her daughter. Her body jerked in a futile attempt to escape but it was in vain. Two days after Richard had left the Palace with Zedd to calm the riots, they were attacked by hundreds of people. The riots were just a trick to separate the Mother Confessor from the Lord Rahl. She and Cara had fought along with the Palace's guards, but there were too many attackers. She had released her powers but the man died quickly, submerged by their opponents. She knew Tim fought along their side, but didn't know what happened to him. She remembered someone slamming a rock against her head and everything going black.

Then she remembered Cassie being thrown here with her. She struggled once more to set herself free as tears fell on her cheeks. She tried to look around the room but the little girl was nowhere to be found. Her chest constricted and her lungs felt suddenly too small. Her breathing accelerated and she thought she would pass out from the lack of oxygen.

The door opened to reveal a tall man. He came to stand in front of her, from what she could see, he was dirty, his hair was grassy, he was sweaty and he missed some teeth… She felt she was about to gag.

"Wher m daughter?" She tried to speak before a sharp of pain hit her broken jaw.

The man in front of her laughed and said: "Next to a Quillon."

Kahlan closed her eyes and let more tears fall on her face. Having your powers ripped away from you by a Quillon was very enduring… it could leave you forceless and… lifeless.

"She… die." She mumbled.

"Who cares?! She's a confessor! If she's lucky, she'll live to be normal if not, well, let's just say there will be one less monster in the Midlands." The man replied with a smile and what seemed like pride.

Kahlan fought against her restrains making the man laugh in return. She tried to summon her powers and the Con'Dar but she couldn't feel them anymore, that's when she realized that she was wearing a Rada'Han.

The man got closed to her and slowly ran his fingers from her cheeks to her hips.

"We are going to make you suffer as you did us… Then we will kill you." He said licking his lips. She struggled against his touch, the only parts of her body being covered were the feminine ones, she had a cloth around her breasts and one around her hips. The man flattened his palm on her stomach making her nausea grow even stronger. She closed her eyes tightly as her breathing accelerated again, maybe her heart would stop at some point.

"Don't be scared now, you have no idea of what's to come." He whispered in her ear before leaving her alone.

She let her chin fall on her chest and saw the multiples cuts on her body, from her stomach to her legs. Blood was slowly running along her skin and down her toes before finally pooling at her feet.

She realized that knew where she was… a Mord'Sith temple. Of course there was no Mord'Sith left as Richard called them back to the People Palace. Richard… She needed him so much. She needed him to save their daughter, their baby.

Time passed as she was left hanging from the ceiling, thinking about her daughter who was probably scared, without anyone she knew, someone to care about her. She kept crying silently until the door opened again. It was that man again.

"Daughter." She mumbled through the pain.

"She's dead." The man told her.

"No…" Kahlan shook her head.

"As I said, one less evil in this world." He said with a smile. "Now, it's time you and I have some fun." He added, taking a knife that was hidden in his back under his shirt.

She stared at him blankly as tears rolled down her face. He caressed the blade over her stomach and she didn't move. She couldn't believe it, it couldn't be true, her baby couldn't be dead. She felt so empty and alone.

"You used to be more aggressive Mother Confessor." He snorted. She didn't care what he would do to her, not anymore. Her daughter was gone and she had no reason to go on with her life. She closed her eyes and thought about her daughter. She remembered when Richard told her about his time with Denna, how he had blocked the pain thinking about her. Then her mind drifted to him, his smile. She found herself in her room in the Confessor Palace, lying on her stomach, naked in bed. It was the morning after they made love for the first time. She had been so scared of being disappointing to him, but he had taken all her fears away.

"You're mine." The filthy voice of the man in front of her brought her to reality.

"I'm going to have fun with you and then I'll kill you." He whispered in her ear before licking her cheek. She could feel his arousal pushing against her leg. She forced her mind to go back to Richard and her daughter. This time she was in the lake of the Confessor Palace. She was swimming alone before he entered the water with Cassie in his arms. He splashed water at her and the little girl imitated him, making all of them laugh in unison. Closing the distance between them, she kissed her daughter on the cheek before kissing him too. Cassie put her hand on her mother cheek and she broke the kiss. They both smiled down at their daughter and Richard held both of his girls tightly in his arms.

A loud crack in her left shoulder made her opened her eyes, she was being lowered to the floor. Her shoulder had been dislocated by the weight of her body as she was suspended to the ceiling. Her hands were still tied together, she didn't even tried to protect her head as it hardly hit the floor.

"It would be funnier if you would just fight back." He told her.

She had no intention of doing so. She was lost, she couldn't get herself to fight back. Her baby girl was gone. It was all over, her life was over. Cassie had been the only reason she didn't let herself starve when she was pregnant, the only reason she went through giving birth, the only reason she didn't die of sadness and loneliness when Richard left two years ago. Now her only reason for living was gone, there was no point fighting. She couldn't survive the loss of her daughter, she just wouldn't.

"We didn't hurt her, your little Confessor, she died peacefully." He said trying to provoke a reaction as she lied on the floor emotionless, staring blankly at the ceiling, the flow of her tears uninterrupted.

"Although, I would have enjoyed breaking few of her bones." He continued. "But it wasn't her fault, you are the one who cursed her with your powers." He said while cutting her cheek just deep enough to make her bleed.

"What kind of life did you expect for her? A life of fear and hatred? Isn't the mighty Mother Confessor supposed to protect people?" He asked as his blade cut lower on her neck.

"I knew you were selfish, but not to the point of making your own child endure the sorrow of being hated all her life." He finished his sentence and stopped his cut just above her breast.

He sighed and got up. "You are not funny Mother Confessor. Really, I'm disappointed in you."

"Kil… m.." She mumbled.

He laughed and said: "I bet many you've confessed begged for their lives too, right?"

"Want… see her." She said as she slowly and painfully pushed herself from the floor. She needed to see her baby one more time, to hold her and say goodbye.

"Her body is already buried." He replied.

He bent on one knee before her and grabbed a fistful of her hair, pulling her face close to his before saying: "I suggest you rest, because when I'll come back, I want you to be ready for our little game. I want you to fight and give me pleasure."

He pushed her roughly on the floor and left the room, leaving her alone with her tears.

She slowly crawled to the dirty wall and rested her back against it. Her whole body was throbbing in pain. She closed her eyes as she kept crying. She prayed to the Spirits for Richard to come rushing in to save her only she realized that she was beyond saving. She didn't want to be saved, she didn't deserve it. She was a monster, she had taken lives, too many lives. She failed to protect her daughter and now she was dead. Richard would never forgive her for allowing such thing. She should have fought harder, faster… She was weak and she had allowed her daughter to be taken away from her.

Her eyes fell closed, if Richard was looking for her, she hoped that she would be dead before he found her. What kind of life will she have after losing her daughter? A life of sorrow and shame, a life where Richard would hate her… Richard would have wanted her to fight, but that was before their daughter was killed because of her. He didn't even have enough time with her, he didn't get to know her. He didn't know what song or what story she liked before going to sleep.

She was freezing now and she was shaking, accentuating the pain in her body. She pressed her knees against her chest reopening the cuts on her tights. She smiled though, maybe the loss of blood will finally kill her. No, she knew that she'll lose consciousness first, she couldn't wait for her world to turn black. She knew what was in store for her, the man will come back and rape her, torture her before finally killing her. She didn't care, as long as the issue was death.

Time passed slowly as she listened to the noises outside. She heard screams that she thought could belong to Cara. She hadn't seen the Mord'Sith since the battle. She hoped her friend was alright. She thought hard to protect them.

The door opened once again and for a second, she hoped it would be Richard. She had so many things left to say to him. She loved him so very much, she wanted him to know it. She never stopped loving him.

She felt her body being lifted from the floor and pushed back in the middle of the room. She was once again being tied and left hanging to the ceiling.

"Well, Mother Confessor, are you going to participate to our little game or am I going to have to be more persuasive?" The man asked. He was back again. She stayed motionless as he attentively waited for her reaction, when he got none, he hit her in the stomach taking the air away from her lungs.

She fought to catch her breath and he untied her ankles before looking back at her and he told her: "I always wanted to spread the Mother Confessor's legs."

She coughed several times and it felt like someone was ripping her jaw from the rest of her head. She heard the man talking to her but she couldn't understand what he was saying. Even if she tried to concentrate, all she could hear was that he was yelling. She felt him hit her again, several times. She had more and more difficulties to regain control of her breathing. She closed her eyes as his fists stopped hitting her body. As she started a silent prayer to the Spirits to protect Richard, she felt a sharp pain in her stomach followed by the feeling of hot liquid running down her body. She deduced that he had stabbed her but refused to open her eyes. Many images flashed before her eyes like the first time she held her dagger to Richard's throat, the first time they kissed in the forest, the look in his eyes as they made love… She remembered the first time she held her daughter in her arms, her first smile, her first step… At some point the pain stopped, a small smile crossed her face as she knew she would be gone soon and reunited with her daughter in the afterlife.


	12. Chapter 12

He came running into the last room, like he just did with all the others. His breath was short and he was covered in sweat. He quickly scanned the room for a sign of Kahlan or Cassie. His whole body froze when he saw her. She was hanging from the ceiling with a Rada'Han around her neck. There wasn't a part of her body that wasn't bruised or covert with blood. The sight of her like this made him want to throw up. He quickly glanced around the room searching for their daughter but he couldn't find her. Maybe Kahlan knew where they were keeping her, he had already searched the whole place and didn't know where his daughter was. He was terrified of the idea of losing one of them. He had to find his daughter and make sure that she was alright. But right now, Kahlan needed his help, he couldn't leave her like this. He approached her slowly, for a moment he thought she was dead, her head down and the amount of blood on the floor did nothing to reassure him.

"Kahlan! Kahlan!" His voice pulled her out of the darkness.

"Spirits Kahlan, what did they do to you?" He asked. She didn't understand what he was talking about.

He carefully lifted her head and brushed her hair out of her face. She fought to open her eyes and focus on him. Why wasn't she dead? She was supposed to be dead.

She collapsed in his arms when he untied her from the ceiling and he held her cold body against his in hope to warm her a little. Finally, he reluctantly let go of her and lied her down on the floor to tend to her injuries. He started to inspect her face and noticed a large cut from her cheek to her neck, it wasn't too deep and just needed to be cleaned. She had a huge bruise on her jaw, no doubt it was broken. Her eyes were still closed but he could see her chest slowly raise and fall. His eyes travelled to the rest of her body, she had a deep cut on her stomach that was still bleeding unlike the others. He shredded a piece of his shirt and pressed it against her wound to stop the bleeding. He saw the cuts and bruised over her tights leaving no doubt to what had happened to her. Tears invaded his eyes at the thought. He shouldn't have left them alone in the Palace. It was all entirely his fault.

When his look went back to her face, her eyes were open and her face away from him.

"Kahlan." He called softly. She didn't move.

"I'm going to find Cassie and I'm taking you both out of here." He told her, taking one of her hand in his.

"She… gone." She whispered without looking at him, her tears wetting her face.

"Wh-What?" He asked. He wasn't sure he had heard her.

"The… kill… her." She mumbled through her broken jaw.

His body froze, he was trying to process the information but he didn't want to believe it, it couldn't be true, his baby girl couldn't be dead.

"Leave." Kahlan told him as she began to crawl away from him.

Richard stood up and looked at her for a moment as she tried desperately to put some distance between them. He looked around the room, tears blurring his vision. He wanted to make sure that his daughter wasn't somewhere in the room. Kahlan's moans of pain drew his attention back to her, she had almost reached the wall at the other side of the room. Cassie. He had to find her. Without thinking, he left the room and looked around the Mord'Sith temple to find his daughter. She couldn't be dead, he refused this alternative, he was going to find her and bring her back.

Kahlan was glad he had left, she didn't know where he was but she didn't want to be near him or near anyone. She just wanted to be left alone to die. She cursed herself for still being conscious, her body was aching like never before but it was nothing compare to the ache in her heart. She stopped before she could reach the wall, she lied on her side, closed her eyes and silently prayed to the Spirits to take her life.

*o*o*o*o*o*o*

She opened her eyes to find herself in a room she had never seen before. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the light coming from the window at the other side of the bed she was lying on. She quickly looked at her surroundings, the room was small and mainly made of wood, she was probably in someone's house. She looked at the window to try to figure out what time of the day it might be, that's when she saw him. He had his back to her and seemed to be staring at something outside. She watched him for some time, her mind going crazy with thoughts. Her body didn't hurt so badly anymore but she was exhausted, her eyes felt heavy and she'd rather sleep than be awake and remember that she had lost her daughter. She closed her eyes and let tears escape, she didn't want to make a noise so he wouldn't notice that she was awake. She didn't want to talk to him. What would she say anyway? Her throat was so tight with grief that it hurt, her breathing came in saccades as she tried to fight the urge to cry out loud. She bit her lower lip to muffle a shriek.

"There is some tea on the table next to you." She heard him said in a hoarse voice.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, he hadn't moved from the window.

She slowly and carefully shifted to rest her back against the headboard of the bed and realized that she was only wearing one of his shirts. She pulled at the blankets to cover herself but did not touch the tea. Looking down at her fingers holding the blankets, she kept crying silently. She waited for him to yell at her for being so careless, for allowing someone to take their daughter and hurt her. She waited for him to blame her for the loss of their baby girl, she deserved it. But he said nothing. The anguish of him not looking at her or talking to her, made her cry all the more.

She still had the Rada'Han around her neck, Richard probably wanted to make sure that she wouldn't hurt anyone, he was right to fear her but it pained her that the man she loved would let her wear the necklace. Maybe if was also to protect himself from her powers, there was no way he could still love her after she let their daughter die.

"I looked for her everywhere… over and over again." His voice startled her. "Searched every corner or place she could have hid more time than I could count…"

He finally turned to face her and asked: "What happened?"

She took some time to gather her strengths and dry her tears, she felt so small and ashamed in front of him.

"They came to the Palace two days after you left… There were hundreds of them. Cara and I, we tried to fight back but they were too many. One of them slammed a rock to my head and I woke up in the temple." She explained quickly before fresh tears came to wet her face.

"She was with me at first, but then they chained me and took her. They drained her powers with a Quillon and she… she…" She continued before feeling sick. She quickly got up and ran outside where she threw up. Her knees gave up and she fell on the floor, she coughed several times before finally catching her breath. She brought her hands to her stomach and waited for the nausea to stop.

"Kahlan, my dear, you shouldn't be up." Zedd said behind her. He walked to her and helped her to her feet, holding her so she wouldn't fall again.

"I healed most of your wounds and bruises but you still have to rest, you are far too weak to leave your bed." He explained her gently as he walked her back to her room.

The old man helped her to the bed and brought her a towel, water and a bucket.

He walked to Richard and whispered to him: "I know the pain of the loss of a child Richard, but you have to take care of her if you don't want to lose her as well."

Zedd walked back to Kahlan and took the bucket she used to clean herself and he told her: "Get some rest Kahlan, I'll be back to check on you later."

She nodded and watched him as he left the room.

She stood silent for some time, she didn't want to sleep, she didn't want to rest, she only wanted this nightmare to be over. She watched Richard for a moment as he kept staring outside the window. She felt the intense need to comfort him. He had lost a child too, even though Zedd had whispered so she wouldn't hear him, she had heard what he told his grandson. He was right, Richard had lost a child too. She had been so engulfed in her own pain that she had forgotten about his pain too. She slowly got up from the bed and walked to him. His arms were still crossed over his chest. She pressed her fingertips inside his elbow, pulling his arm towards her and he let it fall at his side. She ran her hand down his arm, enjoying the fell of his hot skin against her palm. She gripped his hand in hers, entwining their fingers and stroked his hand with her thumb. It felt good being close to him.

"I…" She started, struggling to find her voice and to fight tears. "I know it's my fault…"

She inhaled deeply and dried her tears with her free hand and continued: "I'm sorry our baby is gone because of me."

She brought his hand to her lips and gave it a quick kiss before repeating: "I'm sorry."

She turned to walk back to the bed but he stopped her, pulling at her hand and still entwined fingers.

"Stay." He whispered.

He turned his body to face her, looked deep into her eyes and said: "I left you again… I hurt you again and now you've lost your daughter…"

"Our daughter." She corrected him.

"Don't blame yourself Kahlan, blame me." He told her as tears wetted his face.

She took his face in her hands and used her thumbs to wipe his tears away. She leaned in and kissed him lightly. She didn't really know why, but she acted on her instincts and needs and she kissed him. He didn't kiss her back at first, but when she closed the distance between them, he lost himself in their kiss. It was slow and tender, yet full of anguish and affection. They both thought they could take each other's pain away, bring some sort of comfort.

Letting go of her hand, he wrapped one arm around her waist and ran his hand in her hair as she slid her fingers into the opening of his shirt, needing to feel the softness of his skin. As his tongue pushed past her lips, they both moaned in pleasure. The necessity to breath made them unwillingly break their kiss. Wasting no time, Kahlan kissed his neck as she kept massaging his chest with her fingers. She teased his skin, kissing, biting and licking all the way to his chest.

"Kahlan." He mumbled, pulling at her shoulder for her to stop her delicious motions.

"We can't." He added once her eyes were on his.

"I want to forget Richard, just for a while. Help me forget." She begged him as she started to unlace his pants. He closed his eyes and panted heavily, her actions preventing him of thinking straight.

"Please." She begged again, whispering in his ear. She pulled at the shirt he was wearing and it hit the floor within seconds. She could now run her hands on his chest freely. She could feel he was still reluctant to let go so she kissed him passionately again.

"Please… Take me. I want to remember what it's like to be yours again." She told him after breaking their kiss.

Pulling away, her lips returned to his neck and she told him: "I can't hurt you, I have the Rada'Han."

The Rada'Han… He suddenly pulled away from her and grabbed her shoulders and said: "Kahlan, stop."

"Oh come on, don't tell me you don't want to take me right here and right now Richard." She snorted.

"I want you more than anything but… not like this. Not when we are grieving our daughter, not when you think you could confess me." He explained, shaking his head in disbelief.

He saw the hurt in her eyes before she pulled away from him to walk to the bed.

"You should go. Zedd said I should rest." She said softly as she lied under the covers.

At the evocation of his grandfather's name, Richard thought about what he told him, that he had to take care of Kahlan if he didn't want to lose her too.

Getting rid of his shirt and boots, he joined Kahlan and lied next to her.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"You are wearing a Rada'Han because you are too weak to hold on to your powers, the release could kill you." He explained, avoiding her question.

She turned her back to him, not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his chest against her back and he felt her body tense against his.

"I'm not afraid of you or your powers, I don't blame you, I don't hate you. I just wish you could let me in, let me love you and take care of you because right now, it's what I need to do." He explained in a clam voice.

"That's what Zedd ordered you to do." She corrected him.

"He made me understand that I can't let my grief and anger take the best of me and push you away because I fell so responsible for what happened and so unworthy of your love." He explained.

"I don't love you anymore." She told him, hoping that would push him away and that he would leave her for good.

"I know." He replied. He didn't know if it was the truth or if it just was the emotion but it broke his heart all the same. He was losing the two persons he loved the most.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered to her, apologizing for not being able to take care of them.

She nodded, unable to speak as grief and anguish took the best of her once again. She turned in his arms, burying her face in the crock of his neck and cracked into painful sobs.

"I miss her so much." She said as she wept, her breathing erratic.

He tightened his hold on her and allowed himself to cry with her.

"You should have been there to protect us." She told him, not pulling away from him.

"I know." He said, running his hand in her hair and gently massaging her scalp.

"We needed you to protect us and take care of us but you were gone." She repeated.

"I'm sorry." He told her, not knowing what to say that would make her feel better.

"I couldn't protect her… you should have been there to fight for her. I wasn't strong enough to keep her from getting harmed but she needed her father." Kahlan continued between sobs.

He stayed silent, keeping his body pressed against hers and his hands caressing her skin.

"It's not fair Richard… She's gone and I'm still here, it's not fair." She said, shaking her head.


	13. Chapter 13

Hi! New chapter! Do you enjoy the drama? I hope so! Let me know what you think!

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She awoke in his arms, her head resting on his strong bicep and his other arm wrapped around her waist. Her face was buried in his chest enjoying the sweet warmth emanating from him. She loved his smell, it always felt as comforting as his touch. She didn't want to move, she wanted to stay like this for ever. The only problem was that the Rada'Han around her neck was cutting through her skin. She moved slowly and tried to move the necklace so it wouldn't hurt so much.

"Hey." He whispered softly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She apologized.

"You didn't." He replied, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked gently.

"Like a mess." She replied truthfully before correcting herself: "I'm okay."

"We can remove the Rada'Han if you feel up to it." He told her, reaching in his pocket for the key.

"It would be safer if I just kept it." She told him, stopping his hand.

"Alright." He replied softly, knowing better than to push her.

She rolled away from him onto her back and starred at the ceiling, reality hitting her. She was a monster, her baby was dead because of her and what she was, Richard wasn't hers anymore. Tears gathered in her eyes and she breathed deeply to keep it from falling.

Richard sighed and whispered: "Kahlan."

She shook her head softly and said: "Don't do that Richard."

"Do what?" He asked.

"Taking care of me, caring for me, loving me, whatever you're doing, just don't." She explained.

He chuckled causing her to turn her head to him and give him a cold glare.

"You're telling me that ever since we met." He explained himself.

"It's time for you to listen and let go." She insisted.

Lying on his back as well, he let out a long sigh and said: "I love you Kahlan. I know I've made mistakes in the past and I deserve your hatred towards me. But if I can't be a lover or a husband to you, at least let me be your friend."

He rolled on his side again and looked at her. She was fidgeting the sheets as tears rolled down her face and onto the pillow.

"You told me once that we had to bury our feelings and suffer in silence. I can do that Kahlan, if that's what you want, I'll do it." He told her.

"Good." Was all she could reply.

"Only on one condition." He added, surprising her. She looked at him, waiting for an explanation.

"You let me be your friend like we were before, you talk to me and let me be there for you when you need it. No lies, no Confessor mask, no shutting me out." He said.

She nodded in agreement and Richard laid on his back once again. She reached for his hand, entwining their fingers and broke into tears. He caressed her hand with his thumb, fighting his own tears.

"I don't want my powers back." She started. He stood silent waiting for her to go on talking.

"They attacked us because they wanted to free those whose souls I took. Cassie is dead because they used a Quillon to take her powers away, powers she inherited from me. Being a Confessor, it's a curse." She explained.

"I've lost my way, became bitter and angry. I followed the rules and laws exclusively, I stopped caring for my people. I don't want my powers anymore." She continued before turning on her side to look at Richard.

"You left and it hurt so much. You can't imagine how hard it was to get up every morning… I put my Confessor mask on and stopped caring. I put on a brave face during the day and cried all night long. Then somehow along the way, I lost myself. It was easier not to care, so I shut it all… all the emotions, except for the anger. Slowly it replaced everything else I should have felt and the Con'Dar became out of control."

She wiped away her tears on the bridge of her nose and added: "Now that my baby is gone, I'm afraid of what I could do or what I could become. The pain is so strong, so deep, I don't think I can deal with it. Right now the only things keeping me together are you and this Rada'Han."

She watched him as he starred at the ceiling, she was wondering what was going through his mind. He was crying too and she wanted to crawl on top of him, burry her face in the crock of his neck and feel his strong arms holding her. Their hands were still locked together and it gave her a small piece of comfort. He looked so lost in his thoughts that she wondered if he heard what she told him.

"Richard?" She dared.

"I wish I could take your pain away. Everything is my fault and I don't know how to make it up to you, Spirits I don't even know if it's possible to make it up to you." He told her, looking at her at last.

She tried to touch his face with her free hand but hissed when pain shot through her body.

"What's wrong?" He quickly asked.

"Nothing." She lied before lying back on the bed.

"Kahlan…" He warned, almost leaning on top of her to look at her straight in the eyes.

She sighed and said: "There are some places that I didn't allow Zedd to heal."

"Where?" He asked with a concerned look on his face.

She gestured him with her hand a place under her arm, next to her breast.

"Let me see." He ordered gently, pushing the covers down to her waist.

"It's okay, it's going to heal." She told him.

He locked eyes with her and she added: "Friends aren't supposed to see each other naked."

He smiled and said: "I'm just going to pull your shirt on the side, I promise."

She nodded and closed her eyes, letting him slowly pull her shirt up on her left side, making sure not to expose her. He ran his hand from her hip to her waist and stopped at her ribcage just before the huge bruise that was next to her breast. Her lips parted at the feel of his hand on her skin, leaving shivers on its trail. His ministrations left her wanting for more, bringing her back to the time when his hands would move to her breasts without restraint. Suddenly, she felt his lips on her bruised skin along with his tears. He started to whisper apologies between his kisses over and over again. He pulled at her shirt to move it higher but she stopped his hand before he had time to expose her. He wanted to know where else she was hurt to kiss and apologize again but she wouldn't let him.

He took his time and slowly rearranged her shirt and pulled the covers on top of her.

"You can ask." She said softly, she knew something bothered him, she could see it in his eyes but she couldn't know until he told her.

"Ask you what?" He asked.

"Whatever is on your mind and you're not telling me." She told him, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. She knew him too well. If he asked for her to let him in, he had to do the same and talk to her, let her know what was in his mind.

"Did they… hmm…" He cleared her throat and tried to continue: "Hurt you… there… I mean… hmm. Did they…"

She silenced him by shaking her head no and said: "He wanted to… rape me… but he didn't. He wanted me to fight back, play some twisted game but I didn't. I fought back at first, because I wanted to escape and get Cassie and then when he told me that she was… I couldn't fight anymore."

She crossed her arms over her chest and said: "I wanted to die and somehow I didn't care what he was doing to me. But he didn't touch me Richard, I promise."

He nodded slowly and asked: "Would it be alright if I held you in my arms for a while?"

She nodded and they both laid on their side face to face in the position that they awoke.

"Are you comfortable?" He inquired gently.

She nodded and pressed her body closed to his.

"We have to go back there, to the Mord'Sith temple. He said that he buried our baby there. We have to find her and bring her back home so she can rest in peace next to my mother." She said breathlessly.

"Alright, once you'll be able to walk, we will go back." Richard accepted.

"It should have been me. I should be dead right now. And our baby should be alive." She said as tears wetted her face again.

Richard tightened his hold on her, not knowing what to say to her. He didn't think something could ease the pain of a mother who lost her child.

"And she's alone there… She died alone, she must have been so scared." She added before breaking into sobs.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect her. You should blame me. You should have left me to die there." She mumbled.

"It's not you that I'm blaming Kahlan, it's myself. I'm the one who let you alone again. I don't blame you. I have no doubts that you fought bravely to keep her safe." He told her softly.

"Have you found Cara?" She suddenly inquired. The Mord'Sith had fought bravely too.

"No." Richard simply answered.

"I think I heard her scream there, but I'm not sure…" She said sadly. If Richard didn't find her, it probably meant that she was dead too. Not only she had lost her daughter, but she had lost a friend and a fine warrior as well. She let out a long sigh of despair and shifted uncomfortably in his embrace.

"I wish we could have been a family, even if only for a few hours." She said.

"Me too." He replied truthfully.

"Many times I had that dream where Cassie came running into our room to wake us in the morning. That she would jump on the bed before finally laying between us." She explained.

"I would have loved that." He told her as tears wetted his eyes one again.

"She is… was… smart you know. Smart and beautiful." She said.

"Just like her mother." Richard told her with a small smile.

"How am I supposed to go on now that she's gone?" She asked him.

"You don't have to, not yet. And then I'll be here to help you every step of the way." He explained gently.

"Come on, try to get some sleep my l-… Kahlan." He instructed her. He knew he could never be friend with her, he was madly in love with her but if being just friends was enough for her, then he would bury his feelings and be her friend, because even if it would be hard not to be able to love her like he meant, it would be better than living without her.


	14. Chapter 14

I don't know if anyone still reading this... so I think it's coming to its end. Thanks to STforRK and areyoulisteninx for the support!

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They didn't get any sleep. They just laid in each other arms in silence. From time to time Richard could feel hot tears wetting his shirt as Kahlan rested her head on his chest. The steady beat of his heart seemed to calm her but was not able to ease her pain. He wanted to run his hand in her hair and kiss her forehead but he didn't, they were supposed to be friends and he wasn't sure friends were supposed to do that. He wasn't even sure friends were supposed to lie in bed in each other's arms but that was the least of his problems. He knew that he was walking on a thin line, acting distant would make her doubt his feelings and acting too close would frighten her and push her away. She was complicated, his Confessor, but after everything she went through, he couldn't blame her.

He didn't know how long he had been staring at the ceiling but he was sure that if he closed his eyes, he could remember every crack of the woods, but he would also see his daughter, her beautiful eyes and smile. The short amount of time that he had the chance to spend with her had been incredible. He loved kids but never really imagined himself as a father, at least not until he met Kahlan. He had often dreamt about his life with her and their daughters but it was nothing compared to the time he spent with Cassie. She was incredible, strong and smart, beautiful and she loved to laugh. A week… only seven afternoons, that's the time he got to spend with her, with his daughter. She didn't even know who he was, never got to call him Dada. He was just a stranger to her, some guy with a sword and overly protective, maybe she thought he was just a Palace's guard keeping an eye on her while her mother was working.

Tears rolled down the side of his face and he tried to stifle his cry not to alarm Kahlan, he closed his eyes trying to stop the tears but it was useless. She was wrong about wanting to be friends, he would end up failing her once again like he did in the past, like he failed his daughter. He loved them more than life itself, but all he had done was to cause them pain and he couldn't do that anymore.

"It's okay to be sad." She whispered to him and he felt her fingers drying the tears on his face. He nodded softly, keeping his eyes closed. He didn't want to look at her in the eyes and see the disappointment he was to her. He would never be able to make up for everything he put her through. He grabbed one of her wrist to stop her fingers from touching his face, he didn't deserve her kindness. He slowly sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, his back to her and his head down.

"Richard." She whispered, almost unable to find her voice.

He cringed at the sound of his name leaving her lips, it was sweet and nearly a plea, a plea to talk to her, let her know what he was thinking about, to know how he felt. But he couldn't, he couldn't talk to her. He couldn't tell her that they couldn't be friends like he wanted to, that was the last thing she needed to hear right now. He knew what she was thinking at this exact moment, she was wondering what she had done wrong, why he pushed her away. He didn't want her to know the truth, that he knew that their friendship would lead her to more pain because of him. She needed comfort right now and that what he would give her. She told him that she still loved him and he loved her too, but they couldn't act on their feelings, not when he knew he wasn't worth of her love.

"You can talk to me." She told him, resting one of her hand on his back.

That was it, the moment to lie to her and add more shame to his pathetic little life. He had insisted to be her friend and told her to trust him and talk to him and he was going to do the opposite and lie to her. She couldn't see his face and she wore the Rada'Han, she wouldn't know about it.

"I just need to stretch my legs." He said as he got up and walked straight to the door, leaving her alone in the room.

The problem was that she didn't need to have her powers or to see his face to know when he was lying.

She followed him outside furious, she thought she would see Zedd but the Wizard was nowhere to be found. Once she walked past the door, she saw Richard standing on the grass.

"How can you expect me to talk to you if you don't do the same?" She asked angrily.

"I just want to help you." He replied, turning to face her.

"By lying to me? By pretending to be friends? That's your vision of helping?" She asked, wrapping her arms around herself. It was a little cold outside and it wasn't helping that she was only wearing his shirt.

"Go back inside Kahlan." He told her, noticing her action.

She ignored him and said: "You don't get to tell me what to do."

He sighed and walked straight to her until they were face to face. She saw anger flash in his eyes, he grabbed her by the elbow ready to force her to get inside but he stopped himself when she ran a hand through his hair. She kept her hand in his hair for a long moment. He closed his eyes and she studied his face. He looked tired and worried, older and wiser. His face had changed since the first day she saw him in Hartland and she didn't know if it was possible but he was even more handsome now. She brought her other hand to his face, softly and slowly tracing his eyes, nose and lips. He let go of her elbow and tears pushed past his eyes against his will. He couldn't understand how she could be so kind to him. She closed the distance between them and forced him to rest his forehead against her shoulder as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. It was her turn to close her eyes and she relished the feeling of being so close to him. She kissed his head and let one of her hand gently stroke his back while the other ran back and forth from the back of his neck to his hair.

"I'm sorry." He whispered to her.

"I know." She told him before placing another soft kiss on his head.

He finally pulled away from her embrace and said: "Do you remember when I had troubles controlling the Sword of Truth's magic? How it was fuelling my anger?"

A little surprised by his sudden change of behavior, she nodded and he continued: "Zedd helped me. I didn't want to use the sword anymore but he told me to let the anger out. It took me all night to finally control it."

"I remember… I remember that you said you were angry because you couldn't be with the woman you loved. I wanted to run to you and kiss you but at the same time, it broke my heart that a part of what was happening to you was because of me." She told him.

"I'm going to remove the Rada'Han and you're going to let it all out. You can't confess me so it'll be alright. I'm going to help you control the Con'Dar just like Zedd helped me to control the Sword of Truth." He explained.

She shook her head no and he insisted: "The sword and your powers, they are the same Kahlan. They are meant to do well but if we lose control, they can do wrong. It doesn't mean that we are bad people, it just means that somehow we've lost our ways."

"You've lost control for a week, I've lost control for years." She told him bitterly.

He reached for the Rada'Han's key in his pocket and unlocked it before she had time to protest and he told her: "Let me help you."

She shut her eyes tightly when she felt the surge of her powers return to her. She didn't want to do this because the things that triggered her anger were hurting her, she didn't want to talk about it. But at the same time, she knew that she needed to let it all out so she could control the Con'Dar. She took a huge breath and slowly nodded at him, inciting him to get started.

"What are you angry at?" He asked.

"I can't be with the man I love." She stated.

He snorted and said: "That's a little easy don't you think? Come on, what are you angry at?"

"My powers." She replied, trying to stay in control.

"Many other Confessors had it before you." He told her.

"They turned me into a monster." She said.

"You let your anger take the best of you, your powers are not to blame. What are you angry at Kahlan?" He asked again, raising his voice a little.

"You." She told him, her fists turning into ball.

"That's not new." He snorted.

"You left me alone to raise our daughter." She suddenly screamed at him.

"I left to fulfill my quest and save the world from the Keeper." He explained.

"I was scared and I didn't know what to do and you weren't here." She screamed at him again, her eyes slowly turning black and her nose starting to bleed because she was fighting the Con'Dar.

"Let it go Kahlan." He ordered.

She let out a scream and the Blood Rage took the best of her.

"What are you angry at?" He asked again.

"Cara." She said, stretching her hand and grabbing his neck.

"She didn't do anything to you, she's your friend." He replied, letting her piercing gaze penetrated him.

"She slept with you for two years, she took care of you for two years and Spirits know what else she did to you." She explained.

"Nothing happened between me and Cara and you know it Kahlan." He tried to reassure her.

"A man as needs Richard, and Cara is an expert in taking care of those needs. A beautiful woman, ready to serve her Lord Rahl in every way…" She said, titling her head and studying his face to know if he was lying.

"You know I'm not lying, now, what are you angry at?" He asked again.

She stood silent, her firm grasps around his neck and he yelled: "What are you angry at Kahlan?"

He had startled her and it had the right effect on her.

"My daughter is gone and I won't be able to have any more children." She said and finally let her powers run through him.

She collapsed in his arms, cold and exhausted, her whole body trembling. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and let her catch her breath before he spoke.

"Is it because of what happened when you gave birth to Cassie?" He asked softly. He was also trying to proceed the news.

She nodded and said: "The midwife told me that I wouldn't be able to conceive another child."

"I'm so sorry." He told her, kissing the top of her head.

"Don't be. It's not your fault." She told him before letting out a laugh.

"What is it?" He asked, taken aback by her laughter.

"I'm so messed up." She explained.

"No, you're not." He told her.

"I was the last hope for the line of Confessors and I let my daughter being killed and I'm unable to have children, so much for the mighty Mother Confessor." She said.

He didn't reply to her, he didn't know what to say so he just tightened his hold on her.

"Thank you." She whispered after a moment of silence.

"A little help here please." They heard a familiar voice say. They pulled apart and both gasped at the scene taking place in front of them.


	15. Chapter 15

New chapter! Your awesome feedback gave me a boost of energy and lots of new ideas! Thank you all!

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"Cara?" Richard asked even if it was obvious that it actually was the Mord'Sith standing right in front of them. What he didn't expect was that she was holding his daughter in her arms. His heart stopped beating and he forgot how to breath.

"Spirits… Cassie." He heard Kahlan whispering against his chest.

"You two look like you've seen a ghost." The blonde snorted.

"Mama!" The little girl squealed happily, stretching her arms to be picked up by her mother.

Kahlan immediately made her way towards Cara and took her daughter in her arms, holding her tightly and bursting into tears of joy and relief. She had to refrain herself from clutching the little girl too tight, scared that she would suffocate her.

"Thank the Spirits." She whispered, kissing her daughter on the cheek and head multiple times much to Cassie's delight. Then she noticed the blood on Cassie's closed and her heart skipped a beat.

She started to inspect her daughter and Cara stopped her by saying: "The blood is mine. She's in one piece."

Kahlan kissed her daughter once again and held her close, tears falling continuously on her face.

"She's a tough and brave one." Cara commented with a smile.

Richard suddenly went out of his daze, amazed at the view of Cassie and Kahlan finally reunited.

"Thank you Cara." He told the Mord'Sith with a smile who responded by nodding to him. She wasn't in good shape. He quickly examined her from afar and saw multiple cuts on her body, she was also holding a Quillon.

"Let's get inside." He said, Cara had wounds that needed to be tend to and Kahlan was barely wearing anything and needed to rest after the release of her powers.

Cara nodded and slowly walked inside the house while Richard walked to his girls. He wrapped his arms around them and kissed them both on the temple. He closed his eyes for a while, enjoying the feeling of having them together next to him.

He felt Cassie's hand on his face and opened his eyes, giving her a wide smile.

"Mama wy." The little girl told him, looking at her mother.

Both Kahlan and he chuckled and Richard said: "Mama cries because she's happy to see you, and so am I."

Cassie stuck her thumb in her mouth and rested her head on her mother's shoulder. She grabbed Richard's shirt that Kahlan was wearing and held it tightly in her fist.

"Go back to bed Kahlan, you both need to rest." He gently told her.

She nodded softly and reluctantly left his embrace to walk back inside the house and Richard followed her closely.

Once inside the house, Kahlan walked straight to the room and Richard stopped in front of Cara who was sitting in a chair, while the Quillon was set on the table.

"What happened?" Richard asked, reaching for his bag.

"They attacked us at the Palace, we weren't ready." The Mord'Sith started to explain.

"They were hundreds, we didn't stand a chance. I saw the Mother Confessor being knocked unconscious and they already had your daughter so when one of them tried to hit me, I let him and pretended to be unconscious as well." She said, taking the bandages that Richard was handing to her.

She nodded to him as a thank you and continued: "When we arrived to the Mord'Sith's temple, I waited until the time was right and fought them. The first I found was your daughter. I killed the men around her, took the Quillon and left. I couldn't find the Mother Confessor and I had to make a choice, I couldn't fight with Cassie and the Quillon in my arms. So I escaped with Cassie and let Kahlan behind. I'm sorry Lord Rahl."

"Now I understand why so of them were already dead." He told her. "Thank you Cara, for saving my daughter."

The Mord'Sith nodded slightly, feeling guilty that she couldn't help her friend, the Mother Confessor to escape, but her Lord Rahl asked her to protect his daughter and that's what she did.

"How did you find us?" Richard asked.

"After I escaped, I hide for some time, making sure I wasn't followed and then, as I couldn't let Kahlan died in that temple, I decided to go back and figure out a plan to get her out. But when I came back, they were all dead. I knew it had to be you. I just followed your tracks back here just like how you taught me." The blonde explained.

Richard hugged her, she didn't expect it and she patted his back awkwardly and said: "No need to be so tactile to thank me."

Richard smirked and let go of her and Cara said: "Now go be with your girls, I'll be fine."

Richard nodded and walked to the room with a large smile on his face.

When he entered the room, Kahlan was sitting on the bed, holding Cassie tightly and crying. The sight broke his heart and he sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"It's okay, she's here now and she's safe." He whispered to her.

Kahlan only nodded in reply.

"Come on, lie down, you are exhausted and so is she." He ordered her gently.

Kahlan obliged and rested under the covers, her daughter safety wrapped in her arms. Cassie was the first to close her eyes and Richard adjusted the covers on them before giving his daughter a kiss on the head.

"I don't know how Cara managed to hold a baby for so long." He said, trying to lighten the mood and make Kahlan smile.

"What if she has nightmares?" Kahlan asked, the joke not making an effect on her.

"She probably won't, but if she does, you'll be here with her, telling her that everything is alright and holding her tight." He replied with a smile.

Kahlan nodded and said: "About what I told you before…"

Richard nodded and let her continue: "That I won't be able to be with child again… You are the only one who knows about it… And the midwife…"

"I won't tell anyone, you don't have to worry." He told her.

"Thank you." She almost whispered.

"Get some sleep, I'll wake you up when Zedd will be back and we'll get you both home." He said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"You and Cara should go to D'Hara, restore the order and stop the riots." She told him.

"We'll talk about it later." He replied. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and got up. He gave her one more look and left the room.

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling, trying not to cry. She told him her secret and he didn't seem to care. His daughter was back and he didn't seem to care. She wanted him to care, desperately. She needed him to care. She loved him so much. For a moment, when she was outside with her daughter in her arms and that he came to hold and kiss them, for a second, she thought they could be a family. But they couldn't. Too many things were standing in their ways and she didn't want him to get stuck with her. He always dreamt of having a big family, many children running everywhere and she couldn't give him what he wanted anymore. He also needed a son, an heir for D'Hara and she couldn't give him that either.

Cassie made a movement and it caught Kahlan's attention, stopping the torrent of her thoughts. She kissed the top of her head and smiled, she was so happy to have her daughter in her arms again, so happy to be reunited with her. She felt like she could finally breathe again but that didn't ease the knot in her stomach. Soon she'll be back at the Palace and Richard will leave again to prevent an awful war, the Council will ask for her to get with child again, she'll have to come up with something again, lie to Sylvia about why she didn't want to get with child. She'll go back to her duties as the Mother Confessor and she'll secretly wait for his return, even if she knew he shouldn't come back to her because the future held nothing for them.

*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*

"Keep staring at this door and it's going to break." Cara snorted.

"Hmm." Richard replied, rubbing his face with his hands.

"Is it war between you two again?" The Mord'Sith asked.

"No." He simply replied.

"You know, I liked it better when you two were all hot but couldn't get it on." She said, she loved teasing her Lord Rahl.

He chose not to reply to her and went back to staring at the door. He always had a plan, for everything. He always knew what he was doing but with her, it was different. She made his heart beating, made him feel alive, she was his reason for living but he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to get past the walls she erected to protect herself… from him. He had done it, a long time ago, convinced her that they could be together, it took a long time but in the end, it was all worth the wait. To have her in his arms, to make love to her, it was all worth it and most of all, they had created life and it was the greatest gift she could give to him, a child. Now that he knew that she couldn't be with child anymore, it just made him love her more because they shared the most important and unique thing in the world, their daughter.

Cara let out an angry moan and said: "Get in there and tell her how you feel!"

"I can't." He told her with a sigh.

"And why is that?" The blonde sharply asked.

"You know why Cara." He angrily replied, standing from his chair.

"No. You love her, she loves you and…" Cara said but was cut by the front door suddenly opening. They both grabbed their weapons, Sword of Truth and Agiel, but the door revealed Zedd.

"Easy there." Zedd exclaimed, holding his hands up.

"Zedd! Where have you been?" Richard inquired.

"I was doing a locating spell for Cara and it led me back here." He explained with a grin.

"I saved Lord Rahl's daughter." The Mord'Sith said proudly.

The Wizard smiled, hugged Richard and exclaimed: "Fantastic! I couldn't be happier, my great gran daughter is alive!"

Once Zedd let him go, Richard said: "She's resting with Kahlan, they both looked exhausted."

Zedd nodded but looked distracted by the Quillon, noticing it, Richard explained: "They took Cassie's powers. Will you be able to give them back to her?"

"Probably, I'll still have to do some researches, but it's most likely that she'll have her powers back." The old man replied with a smile.

"Good." Richard nodded before adding: "I'm going to go check on them."

Both Zedd and Cara nodded and Richard walked to the room where Kahlan and Cassie were resting.

When he entered, he saw Kahlan resting on her side, her face to the door while Cassie was sound asleep on her back next to her mother.

Kahlan looked up at him and smiled, not her special smile, just a small smile to show him that she had acknowledged his presence.

"Can't sleep?" He asked softly as he made his way to sit on the bed.

"Not really." She replied, staring at her daughter. "Silly thoughts are running through my mind." She added.

"Like what?" He asked.

"Like if I close my eyes, she'll be gone again. Or giving her up for adoption so she'll have a better life without her powers and without me." She explained as tears filled her eyes.

"It's going to be alright Kahlan. You are exhausted and your emotions are all over the place." He told her, taking her hand in his.

She nodded and let out a small: "Thank you."

The room went silent and he watched her stare at Cassie for a long moment. He expected her to close her eyes but she didn't.

"You're not getting any sleep, are you?" He asked her with a small smile on his face.

"I don't think so." She replied.

He slowly got up and walked to the other side of the bed. She closed her eyes, thinking that he was back at staring through the window. She nearly jumped when she felt him lay behind her.

Her body froze and she held her breath, wondering what would be his next move. She felt his arm wrapping around her waist and his chest pressing against her back.

"You sleep and I'll keep an eye on both of you." He whispered in her ear, sending shivers all over her body.

He felt her relax in his embrace and he dared to hold her a little tighter.

"Don't leave us…" She whispered, referring to his upcoming journey to D'Hara even if he probably understood that she was talking about right now.

"I won't." He told her and he was too talking about his journey to D'Hara.


	16. Chapter 16

My apologies for the delay... I hope you'll still like it. Keep the reviews coming! Thanks very much for reading!

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Much to her delight, Kahlan awoke to the sound of her daughter's laugher. It made her smile widely and she rolled on her side to see what was causing her daughter to laugh so loudly. Richard was throwing her in the air and catching her before covering her face with kisses. She watched them, enjoying the beauty of what was happening before her eyes, she never thought it was possible for Richard and Cassie to be reunited, for her to have a daughter with the man she loved and who loved her back without being confessed. Of course, her life was not quite what she was dreaming for but she was ready to settle with what she had now. Even if she and Richard couldn't be together, she was willing to give him up if it meant that he would be a father to her daughter. She kept staring at them for a moment before Richard realized that she was awake.

"Oh… I think we woke Mommy." He said giving his Confessor a smile.

"Gain!" The little girl squealed, raising her hands in the air.

"Alright… ready? One… Two… Three!" He said before throwing Cassie just above his head and catching her. The little girl burst out laughing and it made Kahlan smile grew wider, if that was even possible.

He walked to the bed and sat next to her with Cassie on his lap and said: "I'm sorry we were so loud."

"I don't know what could be better than to wake up and hear her laugh." She replied with a smile.

"How do you feel?" He asked as his daughter got off his lap to the floor.

"Good." Still smiling, she replied with a small nod.

"Ready to go home?" He asked.

"Not really." She told him before chuckling at the sight of her daughter executing some weird dance moves.

Richard smiled and shook his head, it was amazing to see his daughter like this after thinking she was dead. She didn't seem to be traumatized because of what happened to her. He was glad she was so full of life and so innocent.

"Is there something I can do to make you feel better?" He asked, looking back at Kahlan.

"No." She replied, shaking her head slightly before adding: "I just don't want to go home, even if I know that I have to. I'm good here, just being myself and not the evil Mother Confessor that everyone hates."

"You are not evil Kahlan…" He said with a long sigh.

"Once you'll be home, we'll work together and people will see how good and loving you are. Everything is going to be okay." He reassured her.

"I know you have to leave and stop the riots." She told him.

He let out a small sigh and said: "We'll talk about it when the time comes, alright?"

She nodded and her gaze went back to her daughter who had her shirt up and was looking down at her belly button, trying to exanimate it closely.

"Mama?" She asked with a worried expression.

"What's wrong? Is she hungry?" Richard asked.

"No, she can't feel her powers, she feels like something's missing but she doesn't understand what it is, she's too young."

She got up from the bed and picked up her daughter in her arms and told her: "It's alright baby. Everything is fine."

"I'll get Zedd and he'll be able to give her her powers back." Richard stated before getting up to walk to the door.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Kahlan asked, stopping him in his tracks.

He looked at her for a moment before she continued: "I mean… Her life wouldn't be in danger if she wasn't a Confessor."

"And what? You'll give her up to adoption?" He asked bitterly, remembering their previous conversation.

"No! Of course not! But maybe if she wasn't a Confessor her life would be better, people wouldn't go after her to try to kill her or take her powers." Kahlan explained. His remark pained her. She wanted what was best for her daughter. How could he not understand? His own mother had given him up for adoption to save his life and she was willing to do the same if it meant that it would spare Cassie a life of violence.

"You forget one thing Kahlan… She's my daughter too and she has Rahl's blood in her veins, people will come after her whether she has her Confessor powers or not." He told her.

"But your mother, she saved your life. Zedd took you away and saved your life." She said.

"Don't even think about it. I won't allow you to do that to her." He said, raising his voice a little.

She looked down and sighed: "I know I'm not being rational. I… I just want her to be safe and happy."

She gave her daughter a quick kiss before setting her on the floor where she looked at her belly button again.

"She needs her powers, she needs to be able to defend herself. Your powers Kahlan, they are a strength, not a curse." He said looking down at his daughter with a proud smile.

"And now she's the only hope for the line of Confessors." Kahlan said sadly.

"Kahlan…" Richard said, anguish filling him at the thought that she couldn't be with child anymore. It broke his heart every time he was thinking about it. He knew she wanted to have many daughters, a big happy family to make up for her horrible childhood.

"It's alright Richard. I made peace with the fact that I won't have more children." She said, trying her best to smile at him even though the tears in her eyes were betraying her. Before Richard came back, she was almost glad that she couldn't be with child. She knew she wouldn't have to lie with anyone, it was useless. Gone was the terrible nightmare to have to mate with a man she didn't love, to betray Richard. But now that he was back, it changed everything because she was still dreaming of a life with him. It made her heart break more than she would admit, knowing that she wouldn't be able to give him a family. Denying him a son was a tragedy they could probably overcome but she couldn't ask him to give up his dream of having more than one child just because she wanted to be with him.

"Why didn't you say anything to the Council? Why did you pretend to be with child?" He asked.

"Shame I guess… I don't know in the history of Confessors one who couldn't get with child. I feel like I failed… like I'm useless as a Confessor and as a woman." She explained at the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry." He simply said.

"You don't have to be sorry, it's not your fault Richard. Even if you had been there when I gave birth, there is nothing you could have done to prevent it." She told him with a small smile.

He crushed his lips on hers, it was unexpected, sudden and she loved it, she knew that she shouldn't enjoy it so much, but she did. He pressed his body against hers and cupped her face with his hands. She lost herself in the kiss, her head was spinning and her body shivering. Their tongues touched and she felt waves of pleasure running up and down her body. His kiss was slow and sensual but she knew it had to end. She gave herself a last moment to enjoy the feel of his lips on hers and she pressed a hand against his chest, pulling away from him.

They stood close to each other, their foreheads touching, their breaths shortened by the emotion and the lack of air.

She closed her eyes and whispered: "Friends…"

"Are not supposed to kiss each other." He finished the sentence that she had started.

She nodded and he pressed his lips to her forehead and said: "I don't want to let you go just yet."

She nodded again and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of his embrace.

Kahlan smiled when she felt Cassie hugging her left leg.

"Come here." She said before picking up her daughter who joined her parent's hug and squealed happily.

"It feels good being like this, the three of us." Richard said.

"It does." She almost whispered.

"Can I ask you a question?" He broke the silence after a while.

"Sure. Anything." She replied, pulling back a little to look at him in the eyes.

"Tim is still confessed to you, isn't he?" He asked.

"Yes… He is… Why?" She asked him back.

"You died the day you gave birth to Cassie, he shouldn't be confessed anymore." Richard asked, furrowing his brows.

Kahlan looked down and walked away from him, sitting at the edge of the bed and still holding her daughter in her arms.

"I confessed him again." She simply said.

"Obviously… But why?" He insisted.

"Do you think I laid with him?" She asked in shock.

Richard smiled and shook his head no. He went to sit next to her and held her free hand in his.

"You know it's not what I meant Kahlan." He told her softly.

"When he realized that Cassie wasn't his, he got mad and I had to confess him again." She blurted out.

"Did he hurt you?" Richard asked, fury taking the best of him.

"No." She replied quickly. "He didn't, I didn't give him the chance to."

"I hate him." Richard mumbled.

"He's confessed now, he won't cause more troubles." She stated softly, trying to reassure him.

Richard nodded softly and she let out a long sigh.

"What is it?" He asked, his voice full of concern.

"I was just thinking about the night when he tried to kill you and I released my powers on the both of you." She explained.

"And how you tried to kill yourself to free me from confession when I was not confessed?" He asked with a smile.

"How can you smile thinking about it?" She asked.

"Well, even though it was a very hard moment to endure at the time, when I think about it, I remember that it's what led us to be together and be able to create our daughter. As much as it hurt back then, it turned out to allow me to live the happiest moments of my life." He explained as melancholia filled his eyes.

"What about now, are you happy now?" She asked.

"I am." He replied avoiding her look.

When she stood silent, he looked back at her and saw that she was crying silently.

"I'm sorry." He told her, knowing that she had caught on his lie.

She didn't know what hurt the most, that he lied to her or that he was unhappy.

"You don't have to apologize." She said while drying her tears.

He sighed and said: "I am happy Kahlan. I'm not as happy as I was before I left you but I am. I have a beautiful and smart daughter and I have you, Zedd and Cara."

"But it's not enough." She said, staring blankly at the floor.

"No…" He started before adding: "Sometimes I wish I wouldn't love you so much so it wouldn't hurt so much."

She nodded in understanding and asked: "Is it really what you want? To love me less?"

"No… I don't know… Maybe… Kahlan, what I want is to love you and be with you, I want us to be a real family." He explained.

He didn't know what he was saying, he didn't realize what he would have to give up to be with her. It's not the life that they talked about, it's not the life that he wanted and it was certainly not the life she wanted for him. She knew he could have a chance to be happy again, to fall in love with someone who would give him a son, an heir for the throne of D'Hara. Someone who would be able to give Cassie siblings to play with. She loved him so much that she was willing to let him go and be free and happy. Now she knew what she had to do and she was determined to do what she knew was best for him. He deserved to be happy, she couldn't be selfish and lock him in a live he would end up despising. She wouldn't be able to bare the look in his eyes when he realized that she had ruined his life. He wouldn't be confessed but in the end, it would all be the same, he would live a life that he didn't want without even being aware of it.

She suddenly got up and said : "Forget I ever asked anything. Let's get Zedd and give Cassie her powers back."

He nodded and got up as well, following her outside the room to look for the Wizard of the First Order.


	17. Chapter 17

Let me know if you hate me after this chapter!

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It's been less than a week since Zedd, Cara, Richard, Kahlan and Cassie had come back to the Palace in Aydindrill. Things were the same, except from the Mord'Sith that had arrived from the People's Palace after learning that their Lord Rahl's life was in danger. There were eleven of them, twelve with Cara. Each of them, ready to do anything for their leader. Tim had greeted them at the entrance of the Palace when they came back, he was not dead during the attack. They had spared his life because he was a victim of the evil monstrous Mother Confessor even if he had fought by her side. As for Cassie, she had her powers easily restored by Zedd.

Kahlan didn't take any time to rest and quickly went back to her duties and here they were, all gathered in the reception room of the Palace, well-guarded by Mord'Sith as dignitaries from the Midlands and D'Hara were enjoying themselves at the reception thrown by the Mother Confessor in order to show them that she wasn't to be feared anymore.

Looking at her from afar, Richard knew he had never seen someone so beautiful and so perfect. Her long dark brown hair gathered into a braid, her deep blue eyes he would be willing to drown himself into, her mouth calling for his… His body responded to hers almost against his will. His only disappointment was that she wasn't smiling. He loved her smile. He knew that he shouldn't, but he dared to look down at her body. Her breasts, her hips… it was all to endearing and he wished he could tear her clothing into pieces. That red leather was the only thing keeping his lips away from her body… That and the people around them.

No one knew though, how he felt about her. It was like a revelation for him when he first saw her and her sisters of the agiel, swearing to protect and serve him until their last breathes.

The Mother Confessor came into his sigh and his attention turned to her, he knew better than to keep staring at the Mord'Sith, people would notice his behavior.

Kahlan… It felt strange looking at her. He knew he had to talk to her at some point but now was not the time. He still had to deal with his own feelings. He kept wondering how he could have loved her so much only to fall in love with someone else. Love at first sight probably, just like he fell in love with Kahlan in the first place. He still had feelings for Kahlan, she was the mother of his child after all, but it was more like friendship, like what he shared with Cara. It was sudden and knew to him, to love someone else than Kahlan, to want someone else than Kahlan.

He always thought that he would love his Confessor until the end of his life, and yet, here he was, daydreaming to make love to another woman.

"Lord Rahl." The Mord'Sith surprised him by calling him. So lost in his thoughts, he didn't realized that she had moved to stand next to him.

He cleared his throat and said: "What can I do for you Lena?"

"Oh, they are many, many things that you can do for me Lord Rahl, but I'm here to serve you… So the question is, what can I do for you?" She purred in his ear.

His breath stuck in his throat and he swallowed hard, unable to make any words come out of his mouth.

"I've seen the way you've been looking at me and I wanted you to know that I'm completely at your service to take care of your every need, my Lord." Lena added in a whisper before walking away from him to the spot that Cara had assigned her to.

It took Richard a moment to gather his thoughts. His body and mind ached with need. He didn't dare to look into her eyes, scared that he wouldn't be able to fight the urge to take her.

"Are you enjoying the evening?" Kahlan asked him, startling him once again. What was wrong with him? Women kept sneaking next to him without him even noticing. Maybe it was in his veins, as the Lord Rahl, to be distracted by the natural beauty of a Mord'Sith.

"Huh… Yes." He replied simply, looking at the crowd in front of him.

They stood silent for a moment until he finally turned to her and asked: "Is Cassie asleep yet?"

"I hope so. Sylvia has strict orders not to let her up too late." Kahlan explained with a small smile.

"How did she sleep last night?" He inquired, anxious about the well-being of his daughter.

"Better, but she woke up early." Kahlan said. Ever since they came back to the Palace, the little girl had problems falling asleep and she also had nightmares. She would only fall asleep in Kahlan's arms and sleep in her bed. After a few nights, she started to sleep normally again, and in her own bed.

"Good." Richard simply replied and he turned his attention back to the crowd.

There was another long moment of silence and he heard her silently taking a huge breath, he knew her too well to deduce that she had something on her mind and that she was gathering her strengths to talk to him about it.

He turned to her again and asked: "Is there something wrong?"

She looked down and nodded. Tears gathered in her eyes and she said: "The way you used to look at me… it's gone."

He closed his eyes, ashamed of being in love with someone else.

"Lena, she's beautiful." Kahlan started. She let her hand rest on his chest above his heart and she said: "It's okay not to love me anymore."

"Kahlan…" He started but she cut him off.

"It's okay." She repeated before adding: "You and I… we lost our way… I'm not meant to be a wife Richard, not meant to be Lady Rahl."

He took both of her hands in his and said: "I'm so sorry." He knew lying to her was useless, telling her that he still loved her wouldn't do her any good.

She did her best to smile at him and said: "You don't have to. It's for the best. She will give you everything you deserve… a son and maybe another daughter. I'm happy for you."

She knew what she had to say to set him free, for him to go that Mord'Sith without any second thoughts.

"Will you still let me see Cassie?" He asked.

"Of course Richard. I'm sure Cassie will enjoy having some brothers or sisters to play with." She told him, trying to smile.

He sighed and said: "I'm so sorry. I wish I hadn't fallen for her."

"I'm glad that you did." She lied. "Friends?" She asked him.

He nodded and said: "Friends."

She faked a yawn and told him: "I guess it's time for me to get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Kahlan." He said. He was mad at himself for hurting her. But he didn't know what to do, he couldn't lie to her about his feelings, it wouldn't be fair to her.

"Goodnight." She replied before leaving the room.

She made her way to her chambers and felt relieved when she finally got inside. She greeted Sylvia with a small smile.

"She's been asleep for a while now." The maid said, talking about Cassie.

Kahlan nodded and the maid added: "I'll see you tomorrow."

Unable to speak without breaking into pieces, Kahlan nodded again and Sylvia left the room.

The Mother Confessor sat on her bed and finally, she let herself go and cried. After a while, she dried her tears and walked to her daughter's room and watched her sleep for a while. She was beautiful, sleeping peacefully while clutching to her father's shirt. Kahlan let herself imagine that Richard was next to her, holding her in his strong arms as they watched their daughter sleep. The shiver that ran through her body made her realize that she was all alone and for good this time.

She walked back to her bed and sat down. She knew she wouldn't be getting any sleep, just like every night since they came back to the Palace. She just couldn't sleep, the guilt and pain were too heavy on her. The first few nights, she took care of Cassie who also had troubles sleeping but now, she just used the night to get more work done or to read. It felt like she was being back at the time when Richard was gone on his quest, only he was now a few steps away. She had to stop thinking about him, this is what she wanted for him. To be happy, to have an heir for D'Hara and the big family he always dreamt of. She smiled bitterly at the thought of all the times he had talked to her about the family they would have. More daughters than they could count, with their mother's smile and heart. He used to look for names that he knew would drive her crazy.

She had to make plans for her future, she had to let the Council know that she couldn't be with child anymore. Maybe they would destitute her of her title of Mother Confessor, they could do it and she wouldn't fight them. Perhaps she could go back to living the simple life of Confessors. Travelling from town to town to bring justice in the Midlands. No, she was being irrational, she couldn't stay away from her daughter and she couldn't separate her from Richard either.

With a sigh, she let herself fall on the bed. She stared at the ceiling and she thought about him again. How he made love to her on this very bed, how he was so passionate and good lover that she never had the time to notice the ceiling above her head when they were together. And now another would enjoy having him in her bed. Would the Mord'Sith satisfy him more than her? Will he whisper her name lovingly? Mord'Sith knew how to pleasure a man, it was obvious that Richard would enjoy their time together. Would he miss the power of Confession running through him? She wondered how different it could be, being with someone else. She only made love to Richard and even if she didn't want to be with anyone else, she still wondered how it would feel.

She remembered the time when he was confessed to another Confessor. As hard as it was to hear him say that he was in love with his Mistress, this time it was hurting even more. What would their children look like? From the union of a Mord'Sith and Lord Rahl could only come a powerful child. A boy. The next ruler of D'Hara. Would he be called Michael or George? She had always dreamt of being able to give Richard a son and call him after his brother or his father. She knew the chances were slim to bare a boy for a Confessor but most importantly, she feared the consequences of giving birth to a male Confessor. The truth was, not only she knew that Richard wanted a son, but she wanted a son too, his son. She wanted a son that she couldn't have. She wanted a lot of things that she couldn't have but knowing that Richard could have them was making her feel a little better.

She got up quickly, needing to keep him out of her head. She walked to the window to admire the city. It was already late but there was still a few fires lighting the streets or the houses.

Everything would have been easier if he had hated her for who she was after Denna told him the truth about the power of Confession. She cursed herself for letting her mind being submerged with thoughts about him.

A soft knock at the door startled her, whoever was behind that door knew that Cassie was sleeping. Maybe it was him, maybe he had fought the urge to take that Mord'Sith to his bed.

She quickly and hopefully walked to the door and opened it.

"Cara…" She said when she saw the Mord'Sith.

"You look disappointed." Cara replied as she made her way inside the room without invitation.

"I wasn't expecting you." Kahlan said as she closed the door to find the Mord'Sith with her arms crossed over her chest.

"What's gotten into him?" She sharply asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Kahlan replied, making her way back to the window.

Cara sat on the bed and said: "That makes sense though, Lena kinds of looks like you."

"I said that I don't want to talk about it." Kahlan repeat, with an angrier tone.

"Fine!" Cara said, rolling her eyes, she got up and walk to Cassie's room.

"You should be sleeping little Confessor Rahl." Kahlan heard Cara say to her daughter.

"Cawa! Cawa!" The little girl squealed happily, making Kahlan smile a little.

"I wonder how you can have such a joyful temper with the brooding parents you have." Cara told the little girl.

Cara re-entered the room with the little girl in her arms.

"She wasn't sleeping." Cara said, trying to look annoyed to have a baby in her arms.

"She was sleeping before you stormed in." Kahlan replied, finally turning to face her friend.

"Take her." Cara ordered. "I'm not here to baby sit, just to follow Lord Rahl's orders and take care of your security."

"I think she's just fine with you." Kahlan told her with a smile as Cassie was resting her head on Cara's shoulder, tightly holding onto her father's shirt.

"Looks like you became quite friends during your little journey." The Mother Confessor teased.

Cara suddenly grew serious and said: "Kahlan."

"Don't say it." Kahlan almost begged.

"You don't even know what I'm about to say." Cara told her.

"I know by the tone of your voice that I don't want to hear it." She said, letting out a small sigh.

"You can't stay locked in your room forever with that sad look on your face." Cara said.

"I know." Kahlan replied softly.

It was Cara's turn to sigh and she said: "Do it for your daughter, she needs a healthy, smiling, well rested mother."

Kahlan could only nod and Cara said: "I'm getting little Confessor Rahl back to her bed and when I come back, I expect you to be in bed as well."

Knowing that Cara wouldn't leave her alone if she didn't comply, Kahlan quickly changed into her nightgown and got in bed with a book in her hands before her friend came back to the room.

"I see I still can knock some senses into you." Cara said with a proud smile.

Kahlan nodded and Care added: "Well, goodnight Kahlan."

"Goodnight Cara. I'll see you tomorrow." She replied with a smile.

"I'm right behind the door if you need me." Cara said.

"I know, thank you." Kahlan said.

With one last stern look Cara left the room and closed the door behind her leaving Kahlan alone with her broken heart.


	18. Chapter 18

It was mean to me to let you hang all confused, so I decided to post an update sooner than usual.

I understand all the confusion and sometimes frustation with this story but the previous chapter was needed to... well you'll find out reading this one and the next after that!

Thanks for reviewing, positive or negative, it's good to have feedback. Hopefully, you'll like me and my story better soon!

* * *

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

She was startled at first, when the door of her room busted open but then she closed her eyes, taking a breath before looking at him.

He looked furious and yet so handsome, her Seeker. She slowly closed the book she was reading, the same she's been reading all night and just as slowly, she got up from the bed.

"Your daughter is sleeping." She indicated sharply as she walked to close the door of Cassie's room. She didn't want the little girl to wake up to her screaming father.

"How could you do that to me Kahlan? How?" He asked without screaming this time but his tone was still full of anger.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She replied, walking across the room to her wardrobe and making sure not to look at him in the eyes.

"Don't play dumb with me Kahlan!" He said, roughly grabbing her by the arm and pulling her close to him.

She averted his gaze again and looked down and saw his free hand clutching the Sword of Truth. She could feel his hot and erratic breath on her face. The hold he had on her arm was hurting but she deserved it, she deserved the pain and his anger.

"Look at yourself, you can't even look at me." He told her bitterly, letting her arm go and slightly pulling her backwards.

She resumed her walk to her wardrobe, feeling his eyes on her. Before she had the time to open her wardrobe, he was behind her, turning her to face him, pressing her back against the door and his body against her. He kissed her with force, her head hitting the door before he pushed his tongue past her lips. When his lungs reclaimed oxygen, he grabbed a handful of her hair and titled her head to have access to her neck. He sucked at her skin for a long time, making sure to leave a mark.

"Please Richard, stop." She begged when she felt his hand sliding under her nightgown. Her hips unintentionally buckled, her body was calling for his but her mind wasn't. Not like this, not after all this time, not when he was furious.

"Please." She repeated. She didn't fight him, she didn't wanted to. Part of her wanted him to take her on this very spot and she knew that Richard would never hurt her.

He finally pulling away and looked into her eyes: "How does it feel huh?"

She once again averted his look.

"Look at me!" He almost yelled.

When her eyes met his, he asked again: "How does it feel not to have a choice?"

He watched as her eyes filled with tears and she said: "Nothing I can say will make up for what I did."

She pushed past him and walked to the window, she knew he wasn't going to leave until he had answers.

"Why?" He asked.

"You know why." She replied, her gaze fixed on the city in front of her.

"All that I know is that I took a Mord'Sith to my bed, persuaded that she was the new love of my life and then something felt terribly wrong. I blacked out and when I woke up, Zedd told me that someone had put a spell on me." He explained.

He ran a hand through his hair and continued: "When I asked him who it could be, his only answer was Tim. And then, everything made sense. It was him. It was you. You wanted me to take that Mord'Sith and you asked him to spell me."

"I did." She confessed simply. The knot in her throat was making it impossible for her to say more. Images of Richard and Lena naked in bed were flashing in her mind. She wanted to throw up.

"Is it everything you have to say about it? Aren't you at least sorry or something?" He asked.

"No." She replied simply and truthfully.

He let out a long growl and told her: "I'm so angry at you right now."

"I know." She told him.

He made a few steps towards her and said: "I know you want to push me away but-"

"I have to set you free." She cut him off.

"Free? Free from what Kahlan?" He asked.

"From a life you don't want, from me." She said finally turning to face him.

"You don't know what I want. You don't have a single clue of what I want. You wouldn't have spelled me if you knew." He told her.

"Perhaps. But I know that this big family we've talked about, you can't have that with me anymore. I already asked you to give up the idea of having a son, I can't ask you to give up on the family you dream about." She explained, looking straight in his eyes.

"What if the roles were reversed? What if I was the one who couldn't give you a child? How would you feel about that?" He asked.

She opened her mouth to talk but she stopped herself, he had made a point. If the roles were reversed, she wouldn't push him away because she loved him too much for that.

"What I want Kahlan… it's you. It's only you. I don't need a son or a house full of daughters, I want you and Cassie. I want to grow old and watch our baby grow up with you." He explained.

"You want that now, but you'll change your mind Richard." She told him before walking back to her bed and sitting on the edge of it.

He sighed heavily and said: "You don't trust me. You don't think that my love for you is enough."

"I trust you." She said.

"Doesn't seem like it." He told her.

She suddenly got up and walked to him and she said: "You're right... I-I… I don't trust you. I'm afraid that you think that I am enough for you right now but that one day, you're going to realize that I'm not, that you'll want something else, something more. I'm scared that you're going to leave me again. And this time I won't be able survive it."

He made a step backwards, stunned at her confession. He was feeling the same. He was afraid that one day she would leave him.

He smiled at her and said: "I'm just a woods guide. A nobody. How could I be enough for the Mother Confessor? Everyday I'm afraid that you'll realize that I'm not good enough for you."

"You are the Seeker and Lord Rahl." She reminded him.

"So what? I have Rahl's blood in my veins. The same blood that oppressed killed thousands of people. I come from a family of torturers and murderers. You, Kahlan, you have a pure heart and a pure soul. You come from a family who always did good. I can't live up to that standard either. I'm scared one day you will realize that too." He explained.

She slowly rested the palm of her hand over his heart and said: "You have a pure heart too."

"Kahlan I…" He started softly. "I… I know I've let you down but please, give me a chance to make it up to you… To Cassie. I'm not asking you to forgive me, I just… Please let me love you and take care of you."

He moved his hand to cup her cheek and she closed her eyes at the feeling. He made a short step closer to her and kissed her forehead.

"Please." He repeated.

She nodded softly, unable to say anything else.

He smiled slightly and pressed his lips against hers before pulling her into a tight hug. Her head rested on his chest underneath his chin and she wrapped her arms around his waist, holding him to her, afraid he would change his mind and leave. She was clinging to him with strength he had never felt before.

He felt her tears wetting his shirt and kissed the top of her head. She needed to let go and he was glad that she would allow herself to be vulnerable in front of him. He combed her hair with his fingers hoping it would comfort her even more. He could only imagine the pain she was feeling knowing she wouldn't be able to give birth again. His heart was aching for her.

"I love you." He whispered to her.

She nodded and he felt her grip on him loosen.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" He asked her.

She shook her head no and he asked again: "How long before Cassie wakes up?"

"A few hours." She mumbled.

"Alright." He said before he swept her off her feet to carry her to the bed.

She smiled at him, the special smile she saved just for him, the one he loved and missed so much. He gently laid her down on the bed, under the covers and sat on the edge, his back to her.

"Richard…" She whispered, not knowing what to expect. She wondered if he had changed his mind. She was hoping that he would hold her while she slept.

"I'm not going anywhere. Just taking off my boots." He told her looking at her over his shoulder.

She sighed with relief and turned on her side to look at him. He finally joined her under the covers, lying on his side to face her. He gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face and she closed her eyes at his soft touch.

She opened her eyes when his fingers left her face. She looked at him in the eyes as if she was reading him. He knew that she wasn't but she was looking for answers and he knew that her mind was probably going wild with all kinds of thoughts.

"Ask me." He told her softly.

She bit her lower lip and averted his gaze. She took a long breath before returning her eyes to his and asked: "With Lena… Did you…"

"No." He quickly stopped her.

She released the breath she was holding and he knew he had to give her more than that so he explained: "We kissed. I kissed her and it felt weird. I felt out of place. Your face kept coming back to me and then suddenly I knew that it was you I was supposed to be kissing, not her."

"I'm sorry I did that to you. I had no rights..." She apologized.

"It doesn't matter, my love for you broke the spell." He said with a proud smile.

"You know that I love you, right?" She asked.

"Of course." He replied with a smile.

"I mean it Richard." She said.

"I have no doubts that you do." He said.

"Maybe you should." She told him, lying on her back and fixing the ceiling.

He looked at her and waited for her to speak again.

"Your love for me, it can withstand everything, my powers, a spell… All I did to you was to scream at you and push you away. I wonder how you can believe me when I say that I love you." She explained.

"I don't have to believe. I just have to look in your eyes and I know. I know that you love me. I also know that you are hurting right now but I can see your love for me by the look in your eyes Kahlan." He told her.

"I love you doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about you." She said softly.

"It doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about you either." He told her before pressing his lips against hers.

He pulled away before she had the time to kiss him back much to her surprise.

"Come here." He told her, pushing her against his chest as he laid on his back, his arms wrapped around her.

He adjusted the covers on her and she pressed her body against his, resting her head on his chest. She unconsciously pulled at his shirt which was tucked into his pants but stopped herself when she realized what she was doing.

She rested her hand on his wait, on top of his shirt instead of on his skin above his heart. He had chastely kissed her, maybe he didn't want things to go to fast.

"You know I'm not going to be comfortable if you don't have your hand on my chest while we sleep." He told her with a smile. He pulled his shirt out and took her hand to let it rest on his chest.

"Much better." He whispered before kissing her on the head.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" She asked.

"Of course." He replied, tightening his hold on her.

She didn't need more to close her eyes and fall asleep in the arms of the man she loved.


	19. Chapter 19

Hi! Sorry for the delay. I hope you haven't lost interest!

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"Hey." He whispered slowly as he watched her open her eyes.

"Hi." She whispered back, her voice heavy with sleep. She had no idea how long she had slept or what time it was, the only thing she knew was that she hadn't felt so good in a long time.

"We didn't mean to wake you." He told her with a smile.

Looking down, she saw Cassie, her thumb in her mouth, clutching Richard's old shirt with one hand and holding her mother's hand with the other.

"It's alright." She said looking back at him. He was resting on his side with his elbow positioned on his pillow and his head drooped on his hand. The opening of his shirt allowed taking a look at his pendant and his muscular chest. He was perfect, his smile, his messy hair, his scruff, she wanted to throw herself on top of him and kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

She blushed and looked away from him.

"What?" He asked, the smile she saw on his face when she awoke not leaving his lips.

"Have you been watching me sleep?" She asked, quickly thinking about something to say.

"I might have, indeed." He replied thoughtfully.

"How did Cassie get in here?" She asked returning his smile, more than happy to have both of them close to her.

"She woke up and called for you, I went to get her and told her that we could all stay in bed if we didn't wake you." Richard explained.

"I can't believe you had her stay calm for so long." Kahlan said.

"Don't flatter me, she went back to sleep from time to time." He told her.

Cassie got up on the bed and started jumping on it, making her parents smile as they watched her. Now that her mother was awake, the little girl knew she could move freely. She threw herself on Kahlan who welcomed her daughter in her arms as she rolled on the bed to lie on her back.

"Hey there baby girl." She said, kissing her daughter's head and hugging her tightly.

"Mama!" The little girl squealed happily before leaving her mother's arms and jumping on the bed again. This time she threw herself in Richard's arms that caught her just in time and held her in the air above him. Cassie laughed loudly as he pretended to let her fall before catching her again.

Kahlan watched them with a smile on her face. She hoped she could wake up every morning with the sound of their laughter. This very moment was perfect, it was all she had ever wanted, all she had ever dared to wish. A daughter with a father who was not ordered to care, who was not confessed. It felt unreal, being told that it was something she could never have and finally having it.

"Sounds like someone's having fun." They heard Cara say as she opened the door.

Richard put Cassie on the bed and she jumped on it again.

"Cawa! Cawa!" The little girl said happily, clapping her hands, more than happy to see the Mord'Sith.

"Don't you know how to knock?" Richard asked abruptly.

Ignoring his remark, Cara walked to the bed and jumbled Cassie's hair and said: "Hello little Confessor Rahl."

"She has a name you know." Richard said, rather annoyed by Cara's interruption of his time with his family.

"I like little Confessor Rahl." Cara stated, shrugging her shoulders.

"Come on." The Mord'Sith said, picking up the little girl. "We can't have you stay here, starving and with an irritable father."

"Cara!" Richard called her as she turned to leave the room.

"Oh, don't thank me Lord Rahl." She said before closing the door behind her.

"I can't believe it!" Richard's exclaimed, shaking his head.

"You know how Cara is." Kahlan said softly, resting a hand on his forearm.

"It's about time I teach her some manners." He said angrily, taking his arm away from her hand.

"Richard what's going on?" She asked with a worried expression on her face.

"Nothing. I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry." He told her, taking a breath and trying his best to smile.

"It's not nothing if it makes you angry like that, especially at Cara." She said, crossing her arms over the blanket and over her chest.

"It's nothing, it's just silly." He said, nervously running a hand through his hair.

"Tell me." She said softly.

He let out a sigh and said: "Cassie… she… she never called me Dad…"

Looking away from her in embarrassment he added: "She knows Cara's name and yours and… Forget it. She doesn't really know me and Cara saved her life so…"

He got up from the bed, took his boots and sat on a chair nearby to put them on. Kahlan quickly followed him out of the bed, knelling in front of him and taking his hands in hers, preventing him to put his boots and leave.

"We love you." She stated with a smile. Her heart ached at the thought of what he just said. He was right, Cassie never got to call him Dad and it was her fault in some way.

"I know. I was just being stupid." He mumbled.

"Richard." She said with a sigh. "You are her father, she knows it and nothing can change that."

"How can she know it Kahlan?" He said shaking his head. "I wasn't here when you were with child, I never got the chance to talk to her when she was growing inside of you. I wasn't here when you gave birth, when she needed to be held, to be fed. I wasn't here when she cried in the middle of the night and wanted to be held. I wasn't here when she started to walk or to talk."

"The Cyphers weren't there when you were born, that doesn't made them your parents any less Richard." She told him sternly.

"They were my adoptive parents Kahlan… I shouldn't have to feel like I'm adopting her when I'm her biological father." He said, shaking his head.

"It's my fault." She told him, looking down at the floor.

"What?" He exclaimed. "No, no, Kahlan, don't say that."

"I never call you Dad in front of her. Ever since you got back, I've been treating you like a complete stranger. I was so scared and so angry that I let my own insecurities float on Cassie. I'm sorry." She explained, looking him straight in the eyes.

"You are her father and I'll make sure you both know that." She added before giving him a kiss on the forehead.

"Thank you." He whispered.

She stifled a yawn and he smiled at her.

"You should go back to bed and rest some more." He told her, noticing the goose bumps on her arms.

"Hold me?" She asked biting her lower lip somewhat afraid he would say no.

Getting up, he took her hand in his and entwined their fingers. He led her to the bed where she laid on her side with his chest pressed against her back. She stood silent for a long time, lost in her thoughts.

"There is something I need you to know but you have to promise me you won't get upset." She stated after a while.

"Alright." He said, adjusting his position behind her, wondering what was going through her mind.

"If one day you want to have another child with another woman, just know that I would accept him or her as my own because it would be a part of you." She told him.

"I'm not having another child with another woman." He told her quietly.

"I know… But if one day you feel the need to, I'll understand." She said.

"The lack of sleep makes you say silly things." He told her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Maybe, but I want you to be happy and experience what it's like to be a father from the beginning." She explained.

"I don't need to experience anything as long as I am with you and Cassie." He reassured her.

She nodded slightly and he asked her: "Is it going to be enough for you? I know you wanted many daughters, we both wanted many daughters."

She smiled at him, confusing him and said explained: "It's more than I ever dreamt of Richard. I'd rather have only one child with you than ten with a mate. I'm sad I can't have more children but I've made my peace with it. Now I'm just scared that you want more than one and I can't give that to you. I'm scared I have failed you."

"You never failed me Kahlan and you never will. I love you." He said.

"I love you." She told him, titling her head back to look at him.

"Thank you." He replied.

She laughed slightly, surprised with his answer and said: "Thank you?"

"I mean it. Thank you for loving me, for giving us another chance. And also, thank you for naming Cassie after my mother. It means a lot." He said.

She rolled on her back and rested a hand on his cheek.

"I wanted her to have something from you. I didn't think you noticed when I told you her name when you came back." She explained.

"I did notice but we were so angry, it didn't seem that the kind of talk we were ready to have back then." He told her.

"I'm sorry about how I reacted when you came back." She said, sadness filling her eyes.

"You had every right to be furious." He said.

"I was lost, alone and sad. I wasn't really myself back then." She told him.

"I'm sorry I left." He said, apologizing for the hundredth time.

"You're back now. We have to let go of the past and focus on our future." She told him.

"Right here, right now, it's our new start." He told her, hoping she would agree.

She nodded her head slightly and gave him her special smile that made him bent down and kiss her passionately. He had to control his yearning to tear off her clothes and make love to her because he didn't want her to think that it was just need that united them. He broke the kiss too soon and brushed a strand of hair out of her face and let his hand rested in the crock of her neck.

She closed her eyes and sighed contently when his lips softly brushed her face. He inhaled her scent that he missed so much and felt her tears on his lips.

"Don't cry." He whispered softly in her ear.

"I'm sorry." She said, wiping her cheeks quickly.

"Stop apologizing." He whispered again, adjusting his position so he was almost on top of her.

"I'm sorry." She apologized again.

"Kahlan…" He warmed softly, not stopping to kiss her face.

"I just… never thought I would feel like that ever again." She whispered as she brought her hand to his neck, gently stroking his hair.

"Safe and loved." She added as fresh waves of tears hit her eyes.

He lightly pressed his lips against hers and said: "What got me through my quest was the hope of holding you in my arms again."

"Thank you for coming back to me." She whispered, lifting her head to kiss him.

"Always." He whispered back. She looked exhausted and yet in the same time relaxed. Her face look calm and serene, it was the first time he was seeing her like this since he came back.

He moved to lie on his side, his arms wrapping around her instantly. She turned her body to face him and pressed her head under his chin while one of her hand sneaked under his shirt to rest on his side. The feel of his hot skin under her palm was pure bliss.

"Cara better not be teaching Cassie how to kill things." He stated.

Kahlan laughed slightly and said: "She cares Richard."

"Mord'Sith have strange ways to care you know." He told her.

"Cassie will be perfectly safe with Cara and she won't teach her how to kill things. I promise." She said, snuggling closer to him.

"How do you know?" Richard asked.

"Because Cara is alone and she found someone to keep her connected to her humanity, someone she cares about, and that's our daughter."

She closed her eyes and she whispered: "I'm going to sleep now."

He kissed her head and said: "I'll watch over you."

"Thanks…" She mumbled, sleep already taking her.


End file.
